Sisters of the Presentation of Mary

As a nurse, I have journeyed with individuals and their families as they approach death and begin to make decisions regarding their future care. Through these experiences, I have come to realize that there are many misconceptions and gaps in knowledge surrounding end of life issues. I have also grown in my appreciation for the Mystery of Life and the love which it calls forth from us. For this reason, I would like to briefly clarify notions surrounding some of these questions and provide food for thought and prayer. In the context of this blog, I will only be skimming the surface and hopefully inspiring a desire for further knowledge. I strongly suggest reading "Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide", published by the Catholic Organization for Life and Family (COLF ). This document initially inspired the topic for my reflection and can be found on the website at end of the blog.

I would like to begin by clarifying that standard end of life care in Canada is in conformity with Catholic teaching. A person whose health is failing and is approaching the end of life, may choose to receive full available treatment for their condition, may refuse treatment, or may request the termination of current treatment when the burdens outweigh the benefits. Also, all are entitled to receive appropriate drugs for the relief of pain, even if these might have the unintended effect of shortening their life. It is important to understand that these measures differ morally and practically from euthanasia which is "the deliberate killing of someone, with or without that person's consent, in order to eliminate all suffering. The individual who commits euthanasia must, therefore, intend to kill the person and must cause the death – for example, by lethal injection" (COLF, 2013, p.2).

The reason why I decided to highlight these definitions is because some people believe that unless Euthanasia is legalized, they will be forced to endure treatments and undue suffering for the sake of prolonging their life indefinitely. This is not the case as explained above. In order for each person to experience the journey through death as peacefully as possible, I believe holistic palliative care services ought to be available for all individuals. This is where the political pressure is needed to ensure that these valued persons receive full care till the end.

Finally, in approaching questions of life and death, we must look beyond the confines of a purely medical definition and treatment of death. Death is a stage in life, a stage that every person must experience in order to enter into the fullness of life with God. It is a mystery that involves not only the body, but the mind and soul. As Catholics, we celebrate this mystery every Holy Week and in every Eucharist: the Paschal Mystery. In fact the Lord, in His merciful wisdom, allows us to experience various "deaths" each day that ultimately prepare us for our final death. When we encounter these deaths in others and in ourselves, we are invited to open the doors of our hearts to receive and to give love. Like Christ, in all the stages of our lives and in the lives of those around us, we are called to love till the end.

COLF, (2013). Euthanasia and
Assisted Suicide. http://www.colf.ca/mamboshop/index.php?option=com_remository&Itemid=282&func=fileinfo&id=12

To Be A Saint

Do you have a role model or mentor you look up to? Aspire to imitate? Someone who fires up your imagination, dreams and passion? Perhaps someone who uses gifts and virtues you want to develop (for me, that would be mindfulness, loving attentiveness!), or someone who is radically different, compelling and challenging, one who is fully alive in their own way.

What grabs your attention? Anyone want to share – would love to hear from you!

I just finished watching a video called "A Vast Company of Witnesses: The Communion of Saints" (Episode 8, Catholicism Word on
Fire film & study series), and was reminded of a desire of mine – to be a saint! Robert Barron, in his commentary during this episode, recounts how the sister of St. Thomas Aquinas asked him, "What must I do to be a saint?" He replied, "Will it!"

Yes, "will it!" We have been gifted with many diverse saints – both known / written about, as well as the many "unknown" (to the universal Church) who surround us day to day. Role models abound right in our midst, not to mention the many spiritual practices, traditions, writings, and God's persistence in calling us to fuller conversion and life.

This has reminded me of my need to be inspired, to continually seek out the spiritual writings or biographies of saints (both
recognized and unrecognized). The Little Way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, by John Nelson, has always been one of my favorites, and one that I pick up again and again, and I've been wanting to pick up the writings of Edith Stein.

Would you care to share a book, film, story or experience which inspired you in faith, hope and love? Maybe a saint who is your favorite, and why?  Let's get something started... 

             "Every day is Earth Day"

Though April 22, 2013 is the "official" day set aside to celebrate Earth Day, the truth is that  I can choose to  celebrate it always

in  all ways.  I hear the invitation to  begin today and receive  the blessings of the elements.

Receive the Blessings of the elements

Blessings of the earth

be upon me,

may its taste, smell and touch

remind me of the abundance of God.

Blessings of the wind be upon me.

Spirit of the great winds

help me

to hear your voice

in the midst of the whirlwinds of my life.

As I accept the life's challenges

may I know the blessings of fire.

May the light of God illuminate me

and may the flame of love burn brightly in me.

May I discover each day anew my own hidden fire and enter it fully.

Blessings of water be upon me.

May I be carried by the flow of the great river of life.

May I discover a hidden spring within, gushing forth.

May I be carried to the shores of the sacred and renewed.

(Christine Valters Paintner)

True contemplation always overflows into creation—it becomes a creative act

.

(Beverly Lanzetta, Radical Wisdom)

What invitation do you hear today?

No need to compete...

I've resolved to do something.  Whether this
resolution will stick and I will allow myself to be transformed is another
matter!

I'm talking about my impulse to compete.  No,
not in card games (strangely, I'm not attached to this then!  Probably because I forget to count – much to
the dismay of my zealous partners! J

I mean competing with other people for recognition, and affirmation, maybe, (I
feel so juvenile saying this) even attention?
I was visiting with some peers recently, and was struck by how easy it
is to – inadvertently – domineer conversation, to fall into trying to prove
oneself ("I know more, have experienced much"), to wrestle with a pang of envy
at someone else's success.

Was it Richard Rohr who said something along the lines that we don't have to fight
for crumbs, like chicks when the 'hash' is thrown?  God gives to each of us, personally, what we
need.

Lord,
help me be more rooted in your love, knowing I don't have to compete for it.

Good News!

This is already a bit dated, but it has to be written: I will be professing final vows!  Yes!

If I look back at the journey leading
up to this, it is so apparent that God has "brought me safe thus far" - a generous grace. 

Remember that adage: "it takes a village to raise a child"?  Well,
you probably could say the same for a religious (actually any vocation, I'm
sure).  God's love through Family, friends, mentors, community – as well as life experiences – has made this
possible for me.  God is so good!

Thank you, dear Sisters, for your ongoing support, guidance, prayers, and for welcoming me into this beautiful
Congregation – the Sisters of the Presentation of Mary!  I am so excited to say YES, with you, to
offer my life and all to God!

As for all the other people whom I know (or don't!) and have been praying for me – thank you.

My spirit has been buoyed by your prayers, and I am grateful.

"My soul rejoices in the Lord, and my spirit exults in God my Savior!"

DESERT and DIVINE
EMBRACE

Being in the desert can provide opportunities for us to stop and to
feel the mystery of God's ever-present love, especially as a prayerful person
enters into Holy Week.  Even in the
desert – and perhaps especially in the deserts of our lives, intimacy with our
loving creator beckons.  In the coming days might we be called to find a God
who is drawing us into a deeper sense of God's presence, God's longing to set us free from bondage and calling us to be present and
gentle with our fears of abandonment?

Did you begin the season of Lent saying:  "This year I'll try a little harder;  I'll do a little more"?  Do you know and believe that God is on your side? (Ps. 56: 9b);  that God has loved us first? (1 Jn 3:10); that God desires to 'seduce' us?  (Jr 20:7)

Ordinary Christianity has emphasized that we should love God. This makes sense, but do we really know how to do it? What I find in
the mystics is an overwhelming experience of how God has loved us!  God is forever the initiator, God is the
doer, God is the one who seduces me in my unworthiness. It's all about God's initiative!

Mystics are not trying to earn God's love by doing
good things or going to church services. That question is already and
profoundly resolved. The mystics' overwhelming experience is this full body
blow of divine embrace, a radical acceptance by God even in their state of
fragmentation and poverty. That's what makes it "amazing" and "grace" (Romans
11:6).  (Richard Rohr – Following the Mystics)

During these final days of Lent, Holy Week and into Easter am I open to
believe that God continually offers me to become a 'new creation'?  Can I deepen that belief and celebrate a
bursting of new life through openness to events, to people and even compassion
to myself?

Might I be called to companion people as they journey through deserts,
face doubts and worries? In 'Radical Grace', Richard Rohr says: "I think we
know the love of God is within us when we ourselves can 'do love',  much more than when people tell us we are
lovable.  We can always disbelieve the
second, but the first is an unexplainable power."  The mystics try desperately to give back, to offer their lives back to
the world and thus back to God.

(Adapted
from SDI Letter March 2013;  and from "Following the Mystics Through the Narrow Gate"-Richard Rohr)

I couldn't think of anything to write about this time. Then it came to me...just write about everyday simple things that are close to your heart. So here goes...
We have a bird feeder in our yard overlooking the lake. Many birds come – big and small. But as pretty as pine grosbeaks and blue jays are, I still prefer the chickadees with their little black caps. They are the small ones. And I've always had a preference for the "little ones".
And then I saw advertised a globe feeder made of wire with small openings – big enough for small birds but too small for bigger birds. We hung it in our front window. It didn't take long for the chickadees to find it. They go in and out in their nervous way. What joy we have observing them! The sparrows took a while longer to discover this treasure...I wondered if bird brains vary from one species to another.

Then there are the snow banks formed by the winds we have had lately. Aren't they beautiful? They bring me much joy as I drive along the Cyr road. At that moment I totally forget about all the shovelling we've been doing lately.
Rose is a singer in our church choir. She loves singing, though she's not always right on tune. So when I see her find so much joy in singing, it also gives me joy!
As part of my job as secretary in Debden, I print the mass intentions for the bulletin. For some it is very important to have the mass requested on a certain day, because it is a special date for them. I try to be very careful not to forget any but the other day I did. She phoned me to tell me I had forgotten. I told her I was sorry. Next day I see her and there again expressed my regret at having forgotten. She gives me a big hug. That gave me joy!
I think the Lord delights in seeing us find joy in simple things, don't you?

It seems these days I can't think of
anything to write on – except quoting from inspiring writings!  So, in this vein, I am resorting to an
article from one of the Daily Meditations
by Richard Rohr, entitled "Falling in Love:"

"Somewhere each day we have to fall in
love, with someone, something, some moment, event, phrase.  Somehow each day we must allow the softening
of the heart.  Otherwise our hearts will
move inevitably toward hardness [and ] we will move toward cynicism, bitterness,
fear and despair...

We have to create and discover the parties
of the heart, the place where we know we can enjoy, the place where we can give
of ourselves....Ask the Lord to give you the grace to fall in love" (pg. 84).

Valentine's Day is approaching.  But regardless, this is my prayer:  Lord, give me the grace to fall in love, to
wholly give of myself to You, in all of reality, life, as it is.

Effective Feedback helps everyone!

As a teacher who has
spent a lifetime working with children in a classroom I discover that there is
no end to learning and improving yourself and your teaching methods.

According to our
Foundress, Marie Rivier, her teachers must lead their students to make much
progress. She says that this is a duty of justice toward those who had been
entrusted to them.

This is why I was so
happy to read this article found in the Saskatchewan Bulletin for teachers
entitled: Effective Feedback positively affects student learning.  In this
article, Margaret Pillay writes that "providing effective feedback to students
creates greater learning gains than almost any other strategy." 

The question I ask is what is considered
"feedback".  Since my early years as a teacher I supported and encouraged student learning with praise, with rewards
such as stickers or awards, or with punishment.
Much to my surprise, this article stresses that these practices, good as
they may be, are not feedback, effective in supporting student learning.  They do not provide any information to the
students: what they did or not do well, what they should start doing, or how to
improve their work.  The article states that, "feedback needs to provide information specifically relating to the task
or process of learning that fills a gap between what is understood and what is
aimed to be understood. To be effective, it needs to be directly related to the
learning goal, descriptive, clear, direct, and ongoing."  The article goes on to give some examples of
effective feedback, examples that I can use in my own teaching.

I have to say that
this article has given me food for thought, and has led me to question my own
methods of giving feedback.  I hope that
the changes I plan on making will benefit my students and help them to become
more aware of their own learning process.

The Power of Conversation

Our local community has been reading and discussing the book: Turning to one
another: simple conversations to restore hope to the future, by Margaret J.
Wheatley.  As you may have guessed by the
title, its basic premise is that we can change the world if we start listening
to one another and have simple, truthful conversation.

I've decided to challenge myself to intentionally apply the principles in this book
to everyday life.  This is why, I've made myself a little poster in my room with these questions (p.7, Wheatley):  

What do you see / notice? 

What are you experiencing in your life and the lives of those you care about? 

What do you wish were different?

Then I recall what Wheatley observed in stories of great humanitarian changes and
work: "somewhere in the description of how it all began is the phrase: 'Some
friends and I started talking...'" (p.26)  So,
I have to risk initiating a conversation about something I, we care about, and
that may need change.

If only that were all there is to it.
Wheatley identifies key principles, or behaviors, that we have to
emphasize before beginning a formal conversation process (all of which I need
to hone!):

·We acknowledge one another as equals

·We try to stay curious about each other. (Especially challenging when I disagree with the other – I
have to silently remind myself that they have something to teach me)

·We recognize that we need each other's help to become better listeners.

·We slow down so we have time to think and reflect.

·We remember that conversation is the natural way humans think together.

·We expect it to be messy at times.  (Wheatley, p. 33 – 38)

Anyways, there are probably many of you who
have read or are reading this book as well.

I'd welcome any tips in honing this art – it's going to take the rest of my life!

So far, this winter has been a real winter
in my opinion: crisp cold and lots of snow! There is something so attractive
about this winter wonderland; it is mysteriously inviting, and yet when we
cross its threshold we receive a rude welcome that, if not anticipated, might
make us turn back into the warmth and comfort of our home. Yet, if we dare to
tolerate temporary discomfort, we are enlivened by breathing this pure clod air
that renders us alert and attentive to the beauty that surrounds us in the
diamond covered landscape.

I
have been learning, this novitiate year, that silence and solitude have similar
characteristics. Entering into the mysterious land of silence and solitude is
not initially the most comfortable transition. The seeming emptiness heightens
my awareness of deep longings which at times can be painful, and I frequently
face the temptations of returning to the comfort of secure relationships and
absorbing work. Yet, if I dare to linger in this silent abode, I am
increasingly attentive to the presence of the Silent One dwelling in my
solitude.  As I breathe in this
invigorating Spirit which surrounds me, the eyes of my heart are opened to see
the Eternal Light reflecting on the diamond covered landscape of my life.

So
next time Jack Frost is nipping at your nose, I encourage you to accept the
invitation to enter the winter wonderland of silence and solitude and be
transformed by the life-giving Presence that dwells within you.

Have
a Blessed Christmas and a New Year filled with the Joy of His Presence

I hope this letter finds you healthy, happy
and warm in this cold winter! I thought I'd take this opportunity to write and
let you know what I've been up to over the past year and half. As you have
probably heard, in September of 2011, I joined the community of the Sisters of
the Presentation of Mary. I moved to the convent in the small quiet town of Bellevue, SK where I
began my full time program of prayer and study preparing to eventually take my
vows as a sister in a few years – God willing!

During this time, I am presently on a leave
from my work as a nurse, but intend on resuming nursing next spring when I will
be "trying my wings" as a sister in one of our missions in Saskatchewan. At
that time, I will be attempting to integrate the spirituality that I'm
presently learning into daily life in "the real world" and see if I find
fulfillment in this particular lifestyle.

So far, I've found real peace and joy
living in community with a handful of sisters of various ages. I love sharing a
common mission and life of prayer with these women who each bring something
different to the table. There's plenty of laughter, fun, and games! We've also
bonded over our common trials, such as hauling hundreds of gallons of water (no
exaggeration!) out of the basement. During a huge thunder storm this spring,
the power went out for 36 hours and we were getting up in shifts during the
night to empty the 4 disabled sump pumps that filled with water in less than 15
minutes! Got to love living on swampy land! With all the snow we're getting
this winter, we're practically going to need to build an ark this spring!

"Come,
Lord Jesus, come.  Maranatha..."

At the end of November, I was blessed with a guided one-day "Advent Retreat."  Within the reading materials we received,
there was the following text, adapted from Preparing for Christmas by Richard Rohr:

"Come, Lord Jesus,"

the Advent mantra, reminds us that we are called to live out of a deliberate emptiness, a kind of chosen non-fulfillment.  Perfect
fullness is always to come, and we do not need to demand it now.  This keeps the field of life wide open and
especially open to grace and to a future created by God rather than by us.  This is what it means to be "awake," as the
gospel urges us (Matthew 24:42)!

This really struck me.  To be "awake" is to be open, to make room and space for whatever God has to give us, to show us.  I had always thought of this as a vigilance in preparation for the "last days," as in "you do not know the hour of your
final breath, when the Lord comes."  But it's broader than that! Being awake now means to be attentive to those subtle
proddings, to let go of control of who I think I am and what I am meant to do.  After all, it isn't only in the final hour God comes to me!

God,
grant me the grace to live as open as our snowy plains, open to receive your
grace and life.

Come,
Lord Jesus, come...

LIGHT in DARKNESS...
such was the title of the women's Advent retreat in Saskatoon.

We spent time 'welcoming', welcoming
– not judging what is crowding AND what is missing in our lives;
becoming aware of how 'everything belongs'.

Can apparent 'darkness' lead to light and be the
narrow birth canal of God's presence into the world?  What is our usual
response to feelings of 'fear, anxiety, anger'?  In the movie 'How to
Train Your Dragon', Hiccup welcomes and reconciles with his difficulty to deal roughly
with dragons in a true 'Viking' spirit.
He chooses to love and befriend them.
Trial becomes opportunity and together – he and the dragons - soar to
great heights.

Mary, is humble trust and surrender.  She
is our model of letting go, receiving what is given, making room for a new
conception and a new birth.  What are we
called to 'welcome' in order to be givers of life as Mary was?

We prayed for the conviction that we need to
wait and work with hope inside the darkness... never doubting the Light that God
always is.  We prayed and sang:  "Come and fill our hearts with your
light, your love and your peace!"  (adapted from 'Preparing for Christmas' with
Richard Rohr)

November 18, 2012

Today at Sunday Eucharist, I was struck by the priest's homily, and would like to share it with you. In reference to today's Gospel - Mark 13:24-30 – he stressed that it was not only apocryphal in nature, but held the following message (which I will now try to recall!):

Throughout our lives, we encounter catastrophe: the death of a loved one... the end of a relationship we thought would last forever...the "Friday lay-off" notice...economic crash. Often as not, these catastrophes actually happen because (or in spite) of having done something right. We have to remind ourselves that Jesus, too, "did the right thing," and received condemnation, even death, in return. We cannot avoid facing the same.

It is at times like these, we are at a loss – left hanging. It is uncomfortable and painful. It feels like complete destruction of the world as we knew it, of all we held dear. However, it is also at times like this, when we are forcibly stripped, that we learn who we really are, and what is essential. Our identity and character can become clearer and stronger.

The one thing to avoid doing when we are faced with catastrophe in our lives, and left hanging, is to seek an immediate and new security. This is what we are most inclined to do, because we think that "this is the end." But to do this erects a barrier to what lies around the corner, if we trust and are patient – and that is resurrection.

Our challenge, then, when faced with catastrophe, is to allow ourselves to be "left hanging," and suspended...knowing that in the end, we will be caught and held.

Together we write the Book of Life with our every encounter and with our hands joined to make a difference in this world. Everyone contributes a word, a sentence, an image, but in the end it all makes sense; the happiness of one becomes the joy of all. (paraphrased from Coelho, Aleph p21)

In November, in our part of the world, nature is stripped naked and all that falls to the ground will nourish new life in another season. Nature reminds us of the many whose earthly tent has been folded and who have made their final offering of love.

Whether we know it or not, through our daily lives lived in love, we transmit some of our life force. This is why it is important who we become, because we pass it on. (paraphrased from Natalie Goldberg)

So November is a time to remember with gratitude our spiritual ancestors whose life energies continue to support and to strengthen us. It is a time to honor, to celebrate the Church that has passed on into Life and to savor our connectedness.

On a recent visit with some family members, it occurred to me that God has given me a great grace – to be content with life as it is.

Now, for those of you who are wise and mature, this is probably second nature. But it wasn't always the case for me. I was always striving to find the "perfect solution," the perfect idea, the right response. Special visits and encounters sometimes left me grieving what was unsaid or done, that we weren't squeezing every possible drop of possibility and enjoyment from the moment. Worse yet, were the realizations that I had been mistaken or ungracious (I know – I am praying for humility!).

I think it was Ron Rolheiser who wrote about this experience as part of the human condition, and that it is our challenge to accept that everything this side of life will be imperfect and incomplete – an "unfinished symphony." What serenity and joy there is to be had when we can!

Thank you, Abba, for the grace to enjoy the here and now...the colors and crispness of autumn... the giggle and hug of a niece, nephew...a shared meal...my incomplete, but beautiful, life.

It is enough.

Yes, that was the theme of the Kateri Jamboree which was held on August 15-16, 2012 at the St. Laurent Shrine near Duck Lake. It gathered people from all over Saskatchewan and as far as Ontario. There was singing, sharing of stories, praying and visiting. The goal of this gathering was to prepare our hearts and get us excited about Kateri's canonization on October 21st.

I have come to love this little saint. She was such a trooper! At the tender age of four, she lost both her parents and her brother to a small pox epidemic. Her Algonquin mother, who was a Christian, had instilled her own faith in her. Kateri was attracted to the Jesuit missionaries who came to her village. She desired to be baptized. She was so taken up by her love of Jesus that she wished not to be married. This was not well accepted by the members of her tribe and especially by her adopted father who was also chief. By her refusal to marry, they were losing a warrior and a food provider. Because of her choice, she was ridiculed. And yet, she remained steadfast in her belief in and her love of Jesus. She also spread that love around her by the simple way she lived. Many in her village admired her and changed their lives because of the way they saw her live.

This summer, I was privileged to make a pilgrimage to Kateri's birth place and also to the place where she is buried. It was special for me as I was making this pilgrimage with our aboriginal brothers and sisters from Guadalupe House, a place I worked and loved for 8 years. The place that most touched me was at the Kateri spring which is found close to the village where she lived most of her life. The water is very clear. It is at that spot that we prayed, in a circle, to Blessed Kateri for all our loved ones. We also used the water to anoint parts of our bodies that need healing. It was a very touching moment. We felt Kateri very close.

Carole Osborn does not let her sense of inadequacy get in the way of her desire and decision to serve. She says: "I fall short of my own ideals over and over. Yet despite the certainty of my unworthiness, I feel spirit urging me to venture forth again."

In this spirit, she prays the following....:

So,

God, I ask you to use me, anyway.

Take my fears and use me, anyway.

Take my failures and use me anyway.

Take my arrogance and use me, anyway.

Take my greed and use me, anyway.

Take my guilt and use me, anyway.

Take my confusion and use me, anyway.

Take my regret and use me, anyway.

I offer all of myself to you.

Use me to serve many or few.

In pain or in joy.

Use me as you will.

"Prayer can become unceasing prayer when all our thoughts...can be thoughts in the presence of God". (Henri Nouwen)

I have often wondered if in the "busyness" of our lives we can come to pray unceasingly. I believe that the Lord wants us to walk in his love and presence every day and to experience the joy of developing a living relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Spending a few days at our cabin at the lake has given me the chance to experience God's Presence and to pray unceasingly. God has given us our senses to help us in our prayer: our eyes to see the magnificence of His Creation, trees, lake, flowers; our ears to hear the wind in the trees, the lapping of the waves, the laughter of our neighbor and the giggling of children playing in the lake; the taste of wild fruit, and the smell of the forest. Yes, we are surrounded by God's love and our praise is always on our lips. From sunrise to the fiery sunsets over the lake I move and live in God's presence.

Now as I leave the lake, the place of rest and beauty, I pray that God will grant me the grace to continue to experience His Loving Presence in the ordinary days of my life. That like St. Paul who exhorts us to pray constantly, unceasingly, without interruption, I come to understand that yes, it is possible to pray day and night, in joy and in sorrow, at work and at play, without intermissions or breaks. That praying is as easily done and as necessary as breathing.

Recently I was gifted with a day retreat, which was based on a rock that I had chosen (or had chosen me). This rock is very unusual, and reminded me of a cross between a skull and a beehive. During the retreat, I was invited to reflect on the positive and negative qualities of this rock, and then how these mirrored my own qualities. This reflection, in turn, helped me to hear God's call to me.

This sacred stone inspired me to write a poem, based not only on those reflections, but on the self-discovery and transformation God has graced me with at this time in my life. With that in mind, I'd like to share this poem with you:

Stone Heart

I remember how

I paced

Determined

My no was NO!

and

"So,"

You said,

"I will break your heart

of stone

and carve out holes

and pores instead

for sun and Spirit

to whistle through

and rain to cleanse

your battered soul.

And in these caverns

you will see

the space allowed

For you and Me

Not yawning graves

or dusty bones

but refuge shared

Companions free."

Who knew it wasn't

forced routes and roads

that others took

color

by number

fortress

of stone.

Thanks for these

Welcome cracks

of light

and joy

and,

oh!

Surprises of

this long lost

friend.

Lately, I have been working shifts in our community infirmary – a great learning experience, and, of course, a blessing! It's not often that I get to be with our elderly sisters, so I am enjoying this time with them.

My experience of working in an infirmary is probably similar to others. It has made me think of growing old, how some day I will be dependent on others to care for my basic, every day needs, and all the humiliations and frustrations that come with that. No one wants to lose capability and independence, to know that one's memory is unreliable, or that even though you know what you want, or what you're trying to say, others cannot understand.

The thing, though, about being with people at this stage of life, is you learn to live in the moment. Not much else matters. Oh, sure, there are tasks to be done in this work, but it's like you are in a new world order. There is only this elder's smile or tear, a whisper or plea to hear and decipher, the shaky hand reaching for a touch, a consoling grasp. You are drawn in, beyond yourself, to connect, to be fully present. And any time that happens, you are fully alive.

It always amazes me, to discover that, when people are most vulnerable, and seeming to be at their weakest, their presence, even their neediness are precious gifts to those of us who are often living for the next moment.

Live this moment...the fullness of God is here.

Recently, I read several chapters on desire from the book Holy Eros: Pathways to a Passionate God. I am hopeful when reminded that in our faith, we have the belief that God's will for us can be discerned within our own deepest desires. Our task is to "order all objectives of our desire in accord with their true relation to God. "Authentic desire" (from God) takes us "beyond ourselves and leads us into enlivening and generative relationships." In fact, the authors emphasized the shift occurring in Christian spirituality, where "God's will" is replaced by "God's desire."

At one point, I found it refreshing to read that we can imagine God saying to us, "Surprise me!" After all, "might we not expect that after years of forming a trustworthy conscience, God would invite us to trust and follow our desires, those holy longings that have their origin in God's great ambitions for us?" So, befriending and testing our desires is an unending discipline of authentic Christian life.

Go on.

Dare to pray for what you desire...

Welcome to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Saskatchewan National Event

Yes, it is taking place at the Prairieland Park in Saskatoon on June 21-24. This is on this week!

And why is it important to be there? The Residential School legacy is the responsibility of all Canadians....

Sr. Raymonde Arcand and I have been involved in the preparation for this event and it has been a very important time of my life. I have met many interesting people of all nationalities and religious backgrounds. We worked together in harmony. Many people from Saskatoon put many hours to make it an interesting and memorable event. There will be opportunity to learn more about the legacy of the Residential schools and to listen to the stories of those who attended these schools. There will be times for reconciliation and for building good relationships. There will be food there and we can eat together and share stories at this table.

Every night there will be various cultural activities. Wed. there will be a powwow at Wanuskewin, Thurs. night, a round dance, on Friday night a concert.... It will be special! For more information on the program and much more visit the site: trc.ca. See you there!

These past few weeks, the news have been filled with the student demonstrations in Quebec. This has led me to ponder on the difference between a right and a privilege. Personally, I don't think that a university education is a right. I may be wrong, but I am quite convinced that one can have a fulfilling, profitable career in many other fields but the professional ones that university offer. Education is a right, just like having a shelter to protect you, or food to sustain you is a right; but in my humble opinion, university education is a little like living in a $750,000 home or having steak and lobster every day! It is a privilege... and privileges come with responsibilities. That is what I feel the Quebec students who are protesting the hike in tuition do not seem to understand. Am I wrong? Should university education, or, for that matter, any post-secondary education be free? If that were the case, who would pay for this education? What do you think?

One major sign of Spring for me has always the blooming of the Bleeding Heart plant. We had at least two in our front yard flower bed, and I always found them beautiful.

This year, I watched as Sr. Thérèse removed the winter debris from around the plant in our yard. The result was a few brown sticks about six inches high, barely visible above the lawn. Then, suddenly, there were short green shoots promising more to come. I watched, amazed, as day to day the plant doubled in size becoming ever more leafed, and in no time, it was full of the pink and white flowers so familiar to me. It wasn't very tall and I thought that this year maybe it was already at its height for the summer. But no, in the days since, the plant has expanded upward and outward with more and more blooms! It is reaching full maturity, and is a center of beauty in our garden.

This plant speaks to me beyond words about life. After winter's repose, it was ready to burst forth once more into the sunshine and find nourishment in the warming soil. In the winters of my life, I gain strength without knowing how for fruitfulness and generativity as God gives me the sunshine of his love and the nourishment of the sacraments of the Church. Thus, the beauty of God can radiate into my environment, wherever that may be...

I always find joy in seeing the garden grow.  The first radishes…then the lettuce…then the peas…then the potatoes.  Of course the tomato plants started growing in the house!  I have not planted them in the garden yet for fear of a frost and then all would be lost and I’d have to go and buy some and the joy of growing my own would be lost!  All this beauty makes me think of growth.  The seed must go into the ground and die to give life.  How have I died in my life and gained life or was able to give life to others.  The other day I was talking to a friend who was finding life difficult to live.  I could relate to what that person was going through because I had seen the darkness of being depressed.  How can I give life?  Well, I hope I was a living proof that there is life that can grow from the darkness.  So, when I see the seeds go into the soil in the garden, it reminds me that there is no darkness that doesn’t eventually bring about growth.  It reminds me of the scripture passage: “Unless a seed falls into the ground and dies, it does not bear fruit.  But if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

What kinds of seeds do we sow? 

Do those seeds bear much fruit? 

If you ever wanted to improve the way you communicate and relate with others, I recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

He develops the NVC process, which consists of either expressing honestly or receiving empathically through four components:

• The concrete actions we observe that affect our well-being.

• How we feel in relation to what we observe.

• The needs, desires, values, etc. that create our feelings.

• The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives.

For example, a person might say: "I feel frustrated when you come late, because I need to start the meeting on time to accommodate our agenda. If we need extra time today, would you please stay to help?"

The book is simply written and guides you through exercises to hone your skills in these components. It is challenging, though, and takes a great deal of awareness and empathy, as many of us have been exposed to alienating ways of communicating. Some of the challenges of this process are:

• avoiding moralistic judgments, making comparisons

• making observations without evaluating

• expressing feelings (as opposed to thoughts, judgments, opinions)

• expressing requests rather than demands and accepting non-compliance

• sustaining empathy (especially when we are receiving a negative message)

This NVC process is used worldwide in everything from counseling, anger management, to peace negotiations, and defusing potentially violent situations. Check it out!

The first reading on Monday of Holy Week has been popping up in my reflection and prayer these past weeks. The "title" for Isaiah 42:1-7 in NRSV reads, "The Servant, a Light to the Nations".

"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations". These words are usually applied to Jesus as Savior. However, it occurred to me that I am that servant. I have been chosen by the Lord; he has put his spirit on me and shown me that I am a delight for him. And, through me, justice will be brought to the nations, that is, to the people whom I meet and have met throughout my life.

The following verses especially struck me: "He will not cry or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; a bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice." These words brought to my mind the little ones, the broken ones, the hurting ones whom I encountered in my life, especially while I was parish secretary at Guadalupe Aboriginal Parish. These wounded ones exist also in our families, in our communities, and reveal to us who Jesus really is. These little ones also are that servant, who have no voice, no power, and yet are visible in the street, in our encounters with one another. Their wick may be burning dimly, yet their spirit is not fully quenched, and needs but a compassionate soul to revive that spirit. Jesus in me, and Jesus in them, allows for the flame to burn more strongly, to work toward justice in our world.

Yes, the God who created the heavens and "spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people upon it and spirit to those who walk in it" --this God has taken us by the hand and kept us; given us a covenant to the people, a light to the nations...

This may be an odd reflection in this Easter season, season of resurrection and new life and hope, but I find appropriate that this text keeps coming to mind as I live my daily routine. It reminds me that the Resurrected Jesus is especially present in each of us who are weak, hurting, and that even so, we become a Light, reflect the Light of Christ around us.

The following is taken from the Hallmark book: Joy for a Woman's Soul. It is a small bedside book that has short meditations or sayings that have given me a boost. I share one such story with you from the author, Lucy Swindoll with the tiltle: "Give Joy a boost"

Vision is when you see it and others don't. Faith is when you do it and others won't. With vision and faith things can be done.

One of the greatest by-products of believing in something, and then going for it is joy. I've often said, "My favorite thing in life doing something new while having a good time." That's the essence of joy.

Let's get practical. Perhaps you have an idea of something you would like to do, but you're scared. You've never done anything like it before. Maybe the idea just won't go away. But it's outside your comfort zone, and you don't feel adequate for the task. Start to pray, "Lord, if this desire is from you, will you bring it to pass? Help me know where to start."

And then start. This is the faith part. Work hard. Do what makes sense to you. Ask the Lord whom to talk to who might help you. Talk with them.

What he has given you the desire to do? You can do it.

Teach me to do your will, for you are my god; may your Spirit lead me on level ground Psalm 143:10

May the above inspire you to make the impossible, possible!