In a recent conversation, someone mentioned that she did not want to have dementia of any kind because she did not want to burden her loved ones and not be aware....

This remark led me to reflect. My brother-in-law was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's at the age of 59 –. This form of the disease can progress very quickly. And it has – he now requires institutionalization so as to receive proper treatment and care for his particular needs. Significant deterioration of the brain has been occurred within the past 2 ½ months.

This has been a very difficult time for the family. The two years leading up to the diagnosis were almost more difficult, since the symptoms made no sense and family knew not how to react. It was akin to travelling an unknown bumpy road in the dark. Although now there is still a lot of unpredictability, it is still possible to connect with the known – for example, he does seem to show recognition of people he has known. It's a small thing, but heartening all the same.

Dementia may even has its "up side": One of our sisters was a rather fearful person, often appearing to be unwelcoming and even suspicious of others. When she lost her memory, she was happy and welcoming, even wanting to be hugged. She loved reading, and could read the same article over and over again; it was always new! It was a delight to visit her!

Another Sister has severe short term memory loss. She often forgets the simplest things (e.g. where the cups or dessert are in the cafeteria lineup). She is very aware of her loss, but is generally cheerful, and does ask about where she should be and where things are. It is difficult to see such a capable person come to this. On the other hand, a sense of compassion and attentiveness is awakened in those around her.

So, although the person affected with dementia may not be fully aware, attentive care can reach through, and certainly allows the person giving the care to be more fully human and compassionate, and look upon little things in a very positive way. A smile or an unexpected word bears witness to this.

If we go beyond the visible, and try to see the person as she is, it is possible to discover a beauty not otherwise perceived. Physical or mental impairments often arouse a certain fear, and yet God has placed his beauty in each of us. We are challenged to discover this beauty in all we meet, imperfect as they may be.