Communication is an Art and a learned skill...

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If you ever wanted to improve the way you communicate and relate with others, I recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

He develops the NVC process, which consists of either expressing honestly or receiving empathically through four components:

• The concrete actions we observe that affect our well-being.

• How we feel in relation to what we observe.

• The needs, desires, values, etc. that create our feelings.

• The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives.

For example, a person might say: "I feel frustrated when you come late, because I need to start the meeting on time to accommodate our agenda. If we need extra time today, would you please stay to help?"

The book is simply written and guides you through exercises to hone your skills in these components. It is challenging, though, and takes a great deal of awareness and empathy, as many of us have been exposed to alienating ways of communicating. Some of the challenges of this process are:

• avoiding moralistic judgments, making comparisons

• making observations without evaluating

• expressing feelings (as opposed to thoughts, judgments, opinions)

• expressing requests rather than demands and accepting non-compliance

• sustaining empathy (especially when we are receiving a negative message)

This NVC process is used worldwide in everything from counseling, anger management, to peace negotiations, and defusing potentially violent situations. Check it out!

Sr. Cindy Lewans comes from Assiniboia, SK., the second of eight children, a traditional Catholic family nourished by parents Paul and Margaret. Cindy grew up with plenty of music and activity, (siblings!), a love for nature and the fine arts. She dreamed of a great life: performing onstage or having worldwide adventures! She attended St. Angela’s Academy for the last two years of high school, then set off to “make her mark” at university.

Cindy tried out different areas of study, but felt directionless, and wondered how people could commit to a path. She completed her B.A. and B.Ed. at the U of S, and taught in Saskatoon for the next couple of years.

In the fall of 1999, she moved into the Presentation of Mary Discernment House in Saskatoon, intent on growing in faith, community, and to discern her vocation in life. With the help of spiritual direction at the House, Cindy discerned that she was called to religious life, and to the Sisters of the Presentation of Mary. In 2000, she began her formation at the PM Novitiate, and made first vows in April 2004.

From 2004-2007, Cindy worked at John Paul Collegiate as a teacher and co-chaplain, and then took the Pastoral Studies program at Campion College. From 2009-2011, she worked as assistant to Campus Ministry at Campion College, and is presently taking a “year of renewal” in preparation for perpetual vows of religious life. She continues to enjoy nature, and the goodness and love of God in her family, community, and the people and events that are presented to her every day.
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Guest Wednesday, 19 June 2013