Sisters of the Presentation of Mary

As a nurse, I have journeyed with individuals and their families as they approach death and begin to make decisions regarding their future care. Through these experiences, I have come to realize that there are many misconceptions and gaps in knowledge surrounding end of life issues. I have also grown in my appreciation for the Mystery of Life and the love which it calls forth from us. For this reason, I would like to briefly clarify notions surrounding some of these questions and provide food for thought and prayer. In the context of this blog, I will only be skimming the surface and hopefully inspiring a desire for further knowledge. I strongly suggest reading "Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide", published by the Catholic Organization for Life and Family (COLF ). This document initially inspired the topic for my reflection and can be found on the website at end of the blog.

I would like to begin by clarifying that standard end of life care in Canada is in conformity with Catholic teaching. A person whose health is failing and is approaching the end of life, may choose to receive full available treatment for their condition, may refuse treatment, or may request the termination of current treatment when the burdens outweigh the benefits. Also, all are entitled to receive appropriate drugs for the relief of pain, even if these might have the unintended effect of shortening their life. It is important to understand that these measures differ morally and practically from euthanasia which is "the deliberate killing of someone, with or without that person's consent, in order to eliminate all suffering. The individual who commits euthanasia must, therefore, intend to kill the person and must cause the death – for example, by lethal injection" (COLF, 2013, p.2).

The reason why I decided to highlight these definitions is because some people believe that unless Euthanasia is legalized, they will be forced to endure treatments and undue suffering for the sake of prolonging their life indefinitely. This is not the case as explained above. In order for each person to experience the journey through death as peacefully as possible, I believe holistic palliative care services ought to be available for all individuals. This is where the political pressure is needed to ensure that these valued persons receive full care till the end.

Finally, in approaching questions of life and death, we must look beyond the confines of a purely medical definition and treatment of death. Death is a stage in life, a stage that every person must experience in order to enter into the fullness of life with God. It is a mystery that involves not only the body, but the mind and soul. As Catholics, we celebrate this mystery every Holy Week and in every Eucharist: the Paschal Mystery. In fact the Lord, in His merciful wisdom, allows us to experience various "deaths" each day that ultimately prepare us for our final death. When we encounter these deaths in others and in ourselves, we are invited to open the doors of our hearts to receive and to give love. Like Christ, in all the stages of our lives and in the lives of those around us, we are called to love till the end.

COLF, (2013). Euthanasia and
Assisted Suicide. http://www.colf.ca/mamboshop/index.php?option=com_remository&Itemid=282&func=fileinfo&id=12

To Be A Saint

Do you have a role model or mentor you look up to? Aspire to imitate? Someone who fires up your imagination, dreams and passion? Perhaps someone who uses gifts and virtues you want to develop (for me, that would be mindfulness, loving attentiveness!), or someone who is radically different, compelling and challenging, one who is fully alive in their own way.

What grabs your attention? Anyone want to share – would love to hear from you!

I just finished watching a video called "A Vast Company of Witnesses: The Communion of Saints" (Episode 8, Catholicism Word on
Fire film & study series), and was reminded of a desire of mine – to be a saint! Robert Barron, in his commentary during this episode, recounts how the sister of St. Thomas Aquinas asked him, "What must I do to be a saint?" He replied, "Will it!"

Yes, "will it!" We have been gifted with many diverse saints – both known / written about, as well as the many "unknown" (to the universal Church) who surround us day to day. Role models abound right in our midst, not to mention the many spiritual practices, traditions, writings, and God's persistence in calling us to fuller conversion and life.

This has reminded me of my need to be inspired, to continually seek out the spiritual writings or biographies of saints (both
recognized and unrecognized). The Little Way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, by John Nelson, has always been one of my favorites, and one that I pick up again and again, and I've been wanting to pick up the writings of Edith Stein.

Would you care to share a book, film, story or experience which inspired you in faith, hope and love? Maybe a saint who is your favorite, and why?  Let's get something started... 

             "Every day is Earth Day"

Though April 22, 2013 is the "official" day set aside to celebrate Earth Day, the truth is that  I can choose to  celebrate it always

in  all ways.  I hear the invitation to  begin today and receive  the blessings of the elements.

Receive the Blessings of the elements

Blessings of the earth

be upon me,

may its taste, smell and touch

remind me of the abundance of God.

Blessings of the wind be upon me.

Spirit of the great winds

help me

to hear your voice

in the midst of the whirlwinds of my life.

As I accept the life's challenges

may I know the blessings of fire.

May the light of God illuminate me

and may the flame of love burn brightly in me.

May I discover each day anew my own hidden fire and enter it fully.

Blessings of water be upon me.

May I be carried by the flow of the great river of life.

May I discover a hidden spring within, gushing forth.

May I be carried to the shores of the sacred and renewed.

(Christine Valters Paintner)

True contemplation always overflows into creation—it becomes a creative act

.

(Beverly Lanzetta, Radical Wisdom)

What invitation do you hear today?

No need to compete...

I've resolved to do something.  Whether this
resolution will stick and I will allow myself to be transformed is another
matter!

I'm talking about my impulse to compete.  No,
not in card games (strangely, I'm not attached to this then!  Probably because I forget to count – much to
the dismay of my zealous partners! J

I mean competing with other people for recognition, and affirmation, maybe, (I
feel so juvenile saying this) even attention?
I was visiting with some peers recently, and was struck by how easy it
is to – inadvertently – domineer conversation, to fall into trying to prove
oneself ("I know more, have experienced much"), to wrestle with a pang of envy
at someone else's success.

Was it Richard Rohr who said something along the lines that we don't have to fight
for crumbs, like chicks when the 'hash' is thrown?  God gives to each of us, personally, what we
need.

Lord,
help me be more rooted in your love, knowing I don't have to compete for it.

DESERT and DIVINE
EMBRACE

Being in the desert can provide opportunities for us to stop and to
feel the mystery of God's ever-present love, especially as a prayerful person
enters into Holy Week.  Even in the
desert – and perhaps especially in the deserts of our lives, intimacy with our
loving creator beckons.  In the coming days might we be called to find a God
who is drawing us into a deeper sense of God's presence, God's longing to set us free from bondage and calling us to be present and
gentle with our fears of abandonment?

Did you begin the season of Lent saying:  "This year I'll try a little harder;  I'll do a little more"?  Do you know and believe that God is on your side? (Ps. 56: 9b);  that God has loved us first? (1 Jn 3:10); that God desires to 'seduce' us?  (Jr 20:7)

Ordinary Christianity has emphasized that we should love God. This makes sense, but do we really know how to do it? What I find in
the mystics is an overwhelming experience of how God has loved us!  God is forever the initiator, God is the
doer, God is the one who seduces me in my unworthiness. It's all about God's initiative!

Mystics are not trying to earn God's love by doing
good things or going to church services. That question is already and
profoundly resolved. The mystics' overwhelming experience is this full body
blow of divine embrace, a radical acceptance by God even in their state of
fragmentation and poverty. That's what makes it "amazing" and "grace" (Romans
11:6).  (Richard Rohr – Following the Mystics)

During these final days of Lent, Holy Week and into Easter am I open to
believe that God continually offers me to become a 'new creation'?  Can I deepen that belief and celebrate a
bursting of new life through openness to events, to people and even compassion
to myself?

Might I be called to companion people as they journey through deserts,
face doubts and worries? In 'Radical Grace', Richard Rohr says: "I think we
know the love of God is within us when we ourselves can 'do love',  much more than when people tell us we are
lovable.  We can always disbelieve the
second, but the first is an unexplainable power."  The mystics try desperately to give back, to offer their lives back to
the world and thus back to God.

(Adapted
from SDI Letter March 2013;  and from "Following the Mystics Through the Narrow Gate"-Richard Rohr)

I couldn't think of anything to write about this time. Then it came to me...just write about everyday simple things that are close to your heart. So here goes...
We have a bird feeder in our yard overlooking the lake. Many birds come – big and small. But as pretty as pine grosbeaks and blue jays are, I still prefer the chickadees with their little black caps. They are the small ones. And I've always had a preference for the "little ones".
And then I saw advertised a globe feeder made of wire with small openings – big enough for small birds but too small for bigger birds. We hung it in our front window. It didn't take long for the chickadees to find it. They go in and out in their nervous way. What joy we have observing them! The sparrows took a while longer to discover this treasure...I wondered if bird brains vary from one species to another.

Then there are the snow banks formed by the winds we have had lately. Aren't they beautiful? They bring me much joy as I drive along the Cyr road. At that moment I totally forget about all the shovelling we've been doing lately.
Rose is a singer in our church choir. She loves singing, though she's not always right on tune. So when I see her find so much joy in singing, it also gives me joy!
As part of my job as secretary in Debden, I print the mass intentions for the bulletin. For some it is very important to have the mass requested on a certain day, because it is a special date for them. I try to be very careful not to forget any but the other day I did. She phoned me to tell me I had forgotten. I told her I was sorry. Next day I see her and there again expressed my regret at having forgotten. She gives me a big hug. That gave me joy!
I think the Lord delights in seeing us find joy in simple things, don't you?

It seems these days I can't think of
anything to write on – except quoting from inspiring writings!  So, in this vein, I am resorting to an
article from one of the Daily Meditations
by Richard Rohr, entitled "Falling in Love:"

"Somewhere each day we have to fall in
love, with someone, something, some moment, event, phrase.  Somehow each day we must allow the softening
of the heart.  Otherwise our hearts will
move inevitably toward hardness [and ] we will move toward cynicism, bitterness,
fear and despair...

We have to create and discover the parties
of the heart, the place where we know we can enjoy, the place where we can give
of ourselves....Ask the Lord to give you the grace to fall in love" (pg. 84).

Valentine's Day is approaching.  But regardless, this is my prayer:  Lord, give me the grace to fall in love, to
wholly give of myself to You, in all of reality, life, as it is.

Effective Feedback helps everyone!

As a teacher who has
spent a lifetime working with children in a classroom I discover that there is
no end to learning and improving yourself and your teaching methods.

According to our
Foundress, Marie Rivier, her teachers must lead their students to make much
progress. She says that this is a duty of justice toward those who had been
entrusted to them.

This is why I was so
happy to read this article found in the Saskatchewan Bulletin for teachers
entitled: Effective Feedback positively affects student learning.  In this
article, Margaret Pillay writes that "providing effective feedback to students
creates greater learning gains than almost any other strategy." 

The question I ask is what is considered
"feedback".  Since my early years as a teacher I supported and encouraged student learning with praise, with rewards
such as stickers or awards, or with punishment.
Much to my surprise, this article stresses that these practices, good as
they may be, are not feedback, effective in supporting student learning.  They do not provide any information to the
students: what they did or not do well, what they should start doing, or how to
improve their work.  The article states that, "feedback needs to provide information specifically relating to the task
or process of learning that fills a gap between what is understood and what is
aimed to be understood. To be effective, it needs to be directly related to the
learning goal, descriptive, clear, direct, and ongoing."  The article goes on to give some examples of
effective feedback, examples that I can use in my own teaching.

I have to say that
this article has given me food for thought, and has led me to question my own
methods of giving feedback.  I hope that
the changes I plan on making will benefit my students and help them to become
more aware of their own learning process.

The Power of Conversation

Our local community has been reading and discussing the book: Turning to one
another: simple conversations to restore hope to the future, by Margaret J.
Wheatley.  As you may have guessed by the
title, its basic premise is that we can change the world if we start listening
to one another and have simple, truthful conversation.

I've decided to challenge myself to intentionally apply the principles in this book
to everyday life.  This is why, I've made myself a little poster in my room with these questions (p.7, Wheatley):  

What do you see / notice? 

What are you experiencing in your life and the lives of those you care about? 

What do you wish were different?

Then I recall what Wheatley observed in stories of great humanitarian changes and
work: "somewhere in the description of how it all began is the phrase: 'Some
friends and I started talking...'" (p.26)  So,
I have to risk initiating a conversation about something I, we care about, and
that may need change.

If only that were all there is to it.
Wheatley identifies key principles, or behaviors, that we have to
emphasize before beginning a formal conversation process (all of which I need
to hone!):

·We acknowledge one another as equals

·We try to stay curious about each other. (Especially challenging when I disagree with the other – I
have to silently remind myself that they have something to teach me)

·We recognize that we need each other's help to become better listeners.

·We slow down so we have time to think and reflect.

·We remember that conversation is the natural way humans think together.

·We expect it to be messy at times.  (Wheatley, p. 33 – 38)

Anyways, there are probably many of you who
have read or are reading this book as well.

I'd welcome any tips in honing this art – it's going to take the rest of my life!

"Come,
Lord Jesus, come.  Maranatha..."

At the end of November, I was blessed with a guided one-day "Advent Retreat."  Within the reading materials we received,
there was the following text, adapted from Preparing for Christmas by Richard Rohr:

"Come, Lord Jesus,"

the Advent mantra, reminds us that we are called to live out of a deliberate emptiness, a kind of chosen non-fulfillment.  Perfect
fullness is always to come, and we do not need to demand it now.  This keeps the field of life wide open and
especially open to grace and to a future created by God rather than by us.  This is what it means to be "awake," as the
gospel urges us (Matthew 24:42)!

This really struck me.  To be "awake" is to be open, to make room and space for whatever God has to give us, to show us.  I had always thought of this as a vigilance in preparation for the "last days," as in "you do not know the hour of your
final breath, when the Lord comes."  But it's broader than that! Being awake now means to be attentive to those subtle
proddings, to let go of control of who I think I am and what I am meant to do.  After all, it isn't only in the final hour God comes to me!

God,
grant me the grace to live as open as our snowy plains, open to receive your
grace and life.

Come,
Lord Jesus, come...

November 18, 2012

Today at Sunday Eucharist, I was struck by the priest's homily, and would like to share it with you. In reference to today's Gospel - Mark 13:24-30 – he stressed that it was not only apocryphal in nature, but held the following message (which I will now try to recall!):

Throughout our lives, we encounter catastrophe: the death of a loved one... the end of a relationship we thought would last forever...the "Friday lay-off" notice...economic crash. Often as not, these catastrophes actually happen because (or in spite) of having done something right. We have to remind ourselves that Jesus, too, "did the right thing," and received condemnation, even death, in return. We cannot avoid facing the same.

It is at times like these, we are at a loss – left hanging. It is uncomfortable and painful. It feels like complete destruction of the world as we knew it, of all we held dear. However, it is also at times like this, when we are forcibly stripped, that we learn who we really are, and what is essential. Our identity and character can become clearer and stronger.

The one thing to avoid doing when we are faced with catastrophe in our lives, and left hanging, is to seek an immediate and new security. This is what we are most inclined to do, because we think that "this is the end." But to do this erects a barrier to what lies around the corner, if we trust and are patient – and that is resurrection.

Our challenge, then, when faced with catastrophe, is to allow ourselves to be "left hanging," and suspended...knowing that in the end, we will be caught and held.

Together we write the Book of Life with our every encounter and with our hands joined to make a difference in this world. Everyone contributes a word, a sentence, an image, but in the end it all makes sense; the happiness of one becomes the joy of all. (paraphrased from Coelho, Aleph p21)

In November, in our part of the world, nature is stripped naked and all that falls to the ground will nourish new life in another season. Nature reminds us of the many whose earthly tent has been folded and who have made their final offering of love.

Whether we know it or not, through our daily lives lived in love, we transmit some of our life force. This is why it is important who we become, because we pass it on. (paraphrased from Natalie Goldberg)

So November is a time to remember with gratitude our spiritual ancestors whose life energies continue to support and to strengthen us. It is a time to honor, to celebrate the Church that has passed on into Life and to savor our connectedness.

On a recent visit with some family members, it occurred to me that God has given me a great grace – to be content with life as it is.

Now, for those of you who are wise and mature, this is probably second nature. But it wasn't always the case for me. I was always striving to find the "perfect solution," the perfect idea, the right response. Special visits and encounters sometimes left me grieving what was unsaid or done, that we weren't squeezing every possible drop of possibility and enjoyment from the moment. Worse yet, were the realizations that I had been mistaken or ungracious (I know – I am praying for humility!).

I think it was Ron Rolheiser who wrote about this experience as part of the human condition, and that it is our challenge to accept that everything this side of life will be imperfect and incomplete – an "unfinished symphony." What serenity and joy there is to be had when we can!

Thank you, Abba, for the grace to enjoy the here and now...the colors and crispness of autumn... the giggle and hug of a niece, nephew...a shared meal...my incomplete, but beautiful, life.

It is enough.

Yes, that was the theme of the Kateri Jamboree which was held on August 15-16, 2012 at the St. Laurent Shrine near Duck Lake. It gathered people from all over Saskatchewan and as far as Ontario. There was singing, sharing of stories, praying and visiting. The goal of this gathering was to prepare our hearts and get us excited about Kateri's canonization on October 21st.

I have come to love this little saint. She was such a trooper! At the tender age of four, she lost both her parents and her brother to a small pox epidemic. Her Algonquin mother, who was a Christian, had instilled her own faith in her. Kateri was attracted to the Jesuit missionaries who came to her village. She desired to be baptized. She was so taken up by her love of Jesus that she wished not to be married. This was not well accepted by the members of her tribe and especially by her adopted father who was also chief. By her refusal to marry, they were losing a warrior and a food provider. Because of her choice, she was ridiculed. And yet, she remained steadfast in her belief in and her love of Jesus. She also spread that love around her by the simple way she lived. Many in her village admired her and changed their lives because of the way they saw her live.

This summer, I was privileged to make a pilgrimage to Kateri's birth place and also to the place where she is buried. It was special for me as I was making this pilgrimage with our aboriginal brothers and sisters from Guadalupe House, a place I worked and loved for 8 years. The place that most touched me was at the Kateri spring which is found close to the village where she lived most of her life. The water is very clear. It is at that spot that we prayed, in a circle, to Blessed Kateri for all our loved ones. We also used the water to anoint parts of our bodies that need healing. It was a very touching moment. We felt Kateri very close.

Carole Osborn does not let her sense of inadequacy get in the way of her desire and decision to serve. She says: "I fall short of my own ideals over and over. Yet despite the certainty of my unworthiness, I feel spirit urging me to venture forth again."

In this spirit, she prays the following....:

So,

God, I ask you to use me, anyway.

Take my fears and use me, anyway.

Take my failures and use me anyway.

Take my arrogance and use me, anyway.

Take my greed and use me, anyway.

Take my guilt and use me, anyway.

Take my confusion and use me, anyway.

Take my regret and use me, anyway.

I offer all of myself to you.

Use me to serve many or few.

In pain or in joy.

Use me as you will.

Recently I was gifted with a day retreat, which was based on a rock that I had chosen (or had chosen me). This rock is very unusual, and reminded me of a cross between a skull and a beehive. During the retreat, I was invited to reflect on the positive and negative qualities of this rock, and then how these mirrored my own qualities. This reflection, in turn, helped me to hear God's call to me.

This sacred stone inspired me to write a poem, based not only on those reflections, but on the self-discovery and transformation God has graced me with at this time in my life. With that in mind, I'd like to share this poem with you:

Stone Heart

I remember how

I paced

Determined

My no was NO!

and

"So,"

You said,

"I will break your heart

of stone

and carve out holes

and pores instead

for sun and Spirit

to whistle through

and rain to cleanse

your battered soul.

And in these caverns

you will see

the space allowed

For you and Me

Not yawning graves

or dusty bones

but refuge shared

Companions free."

Who knew it wasn't

forced routes and roads

that others took

color

by number

fortress

of stone.

Thanks for these

Welcome cracks

of light

and joy

and,

oh!

Surprises of

this long lost

friend.

If you ever wanted to improve the way you communicate and relate with others, I recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

He develops the NVC process, which consists of either expressing honestly or receiving empathically through four components:

• The concrete actions we observe that affect our well-being.

• How we feel in relation to what we observe.

• The needs, desires, values, etc. that create our feelings.

• The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives.

For example, a person might say: "I feel frustrated when you come late, because I need to start the meeting on time to accommodate our agenda. If we need extra time today, would you please stay to help?"

The book is simply written and guides you through exercises to hone your skills in these components. It is challenging, though, and takes a great deal of awareness and empathy, as many of us have been exposed to alienating ways of communicating. Some of the challenges of this process are:

• avoiding moralistic judgments, making comparisons

• making observations without evaluating

• expressing feelings (as opposed to thoughts, judgments, opinions)

• expressing requests rather than demands and accepting non-compliance

• sustaining empathy (especially when we are receiving a negative message)

This NVC process is used worldwide in everything from counseling, anger management, to peace negotiations, and defusing potentially violent situations. Check it out!

Last week I had the joy of partaking in a pilgrimage in the footsteps of St. Francis in Assisi. We visited the little church he had rebuilt when he heard the call from Christ to "Repair my Church," the monastery given to him by the Benedictines, the monastery of the Sisters of St. Clare, and even celebrated the Eucharist in the crypt of St. Francis' tomb.

Throughout our pilgrimage, we were invited to ponder the words of St. Francis: "God is – and that is sufficient." "Love is not loved!"

It was striking to:

...learn how much Francis desired and strove to be conformed to Christ – so much so that Christ gave to him the gift of the stigmata.

...see the radical poverty in which Francis lived (rock floor of cave for a bed, a patched tunic), yet also with such profound joy and love for all of creation, all of life as gift.

...ponder that in his latter years, he was so united with God that his prayer consisted of a single word repeated over and over in love: "You! You!"

As we visited the various Franciscan Basilicas and monasteries, we met up with numerous young Franciscans who were congregating in Assisi for a conference. Many religious vocations, and so alive with joy! It was very uplifting to witness!

With Brother Sun and Sister Moon, I give thanks for St. Francis, and thanks and praise to God!

Some time ago, I was invited to the celebrations of Duck Lake's 100th anniversary as a town. At the same time, it was the 100th anniversary of the ACFC, the French Canadian Association of Saskatchewan. It was a wonderful experience! And it made me recognize a characteristic which most of the people of Saskatchewan possess, without being aware of how precious it is.

Saskatchewan is a land of immigrants ... here, we can find every race, almost every nationality and every culture under the sun. Yet, by and large, we get along well, we are known for our hospitality and openness. Just think of Telemiracle! Whether we are French, English, Ukrainian, German, Phillipino, Japanese, Sudanese, Chinese, Metis or First Nation, by and large, we are one when it comes to helping each other. I know for a fact that people in more populated provinces envy us on that point; they can't get over how friendly we all are! I think it is a trait we inherited from our forebears who came and settled in small settlements far from each other, and perhaps lonely for the homeland. It was natural to come to each other's help, since everyone depended on the others to survive!

There is still pride in our own culture, our own language, our own expression of faith, but there is also a respect in the culture, the language and the religion of others, because deep down, we are all the same! It is like a huge mosaic, where every little piece is part of a beautiful masterpiece. I saw that in Duck Lake a few weeks ago. And I was so proud to be part of those immigrants who came here to find a better life, and who built a province and a land where the people are known for their friendship and their spirit of cooperation.

My blog last month, I spoke of dementia and specifically Alzheimer's and how these diseases can affect family and caregivers.

Today, March 8, I learned that my brother-in-law passed away as a result of a seizure. He was younger than I thought; he would have been 57 in June. It is truly a shock for the family: his wife, 4 children and their spouses and children, and his siblings and parents. At the same time, it is something of a relief to know that the suffering is over, and that, as my sister termed it, "He is once again truly himself" and in a better place.

I'm not sure yet what my feelings are around this. I'm glad that the uncertainty and suffering that the family has had to endure these past years is over. This has been for those close to him physically truly a time of Lent, of Prayer, Fasting, and Sharing (Almsgiving). He now knows the Resurrection, and each of us left behind need to continue walking the path toward Easter.

When I mentioned to my sister that it was finally over, she immediately said that in reality this is just a beginning. So true, -- life will continue, but this is the beginning of a new phase, a phase of continued growth and vitality. I know that faith and the spirituality lived by this family will carry them, and us, through the difficult days to come until the funeral.

So, these are my thoughts for today. Somewhat disjointed, and just the beginning of living through this first death among my siblings...

I am a procrastinator. As such, I often think of TIME and ponder on its meaning ... all this while TIME is slipping by and the things I have to do don't get done! Do you know what I mean? However, I have come to realize that TIME is a purely human invention or concept, albeit a necessary one. In any society, there has to be a common understanding of the concept of TIME and an acceptance of the meaning that the particular society gives it. That does not mean that all societies (or individuals!) have to accept that particular definition of TIME. And that is what makes it so hard for a procrastinator to operate in a TIME-obsessed society!

I was pondering that these last few days, as I was trying hard to find a topic for this blog! Have you noticed that there is no TIME in Nature? We speak of an early Spring or a late Fall, but is there a clock somewhere in the bowels of the earth that decides that Spring has to be on March 22nd or Fall on September 21st? No, both come when Nature is ready for it, whether it is a month "later" or a week "sooner". Even the sun and the moon do not set or rise at a set time every day ... we are the ones who have set the hour and the minute of their rising and setting, but it's never the same!

I think that we, in the Western world have somehow become obsessed with TIME. Some people actually judge the quality of a person by their promptitude – or lack of! They will quite likely have a hard time getting used to Heaven, where there is no TIME. How blissful that will be for us poor procrastinators! What do you think? Will the world stop turning (and marking TIME!) if one is not on TIME for an appointment or a meeting? Well, there it is .... and now it's TIME for me to send this Blog ... but I would really love to hear what you think .... if you have TIME!

In a recent conversation, someone mentioned that she did not want to have dementia of any kind because she did not want to burden her loved ones and not be aware....

This remark led me to reflect. My brother-in-law was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's at the age of 59 –. This form of the disease can progress very quickly. And it has – he now requires institutionalization so as to receive proper treatment and care for his particular needs. Significant deterioration of the brain has been occurred within the past 2 ½ months.

This has been a very difficult time for the family. The two years leading up to the diagnosis were almost more difficult, since the symptoms made no sense and family knew not how to react. It was akin to travelling an unknown bumpy road in the dark. Although now there is still a lot of unpredictability, it is still possible to connect with the known – for example, he does seem to show recognition of people he has known. It's a small thing, but heartening all the same.

Dementia may even has its "up side": One of our sisters was a rather fearful person, often appearing to be unwelcoming and even suspicious of others. When she lost her memory, she was happy and welcoming, even wanting to be hugged. She loved reading, and could read the same article over and over again; it was always new! It was a delight to visit her!

Another Sister has severe short term memory loss. She often forgets the simplest things (e.g. where the cups or dessert are in the cafeteria lineup). She is very aware of her loss, but is generally cheerful, and does ask about where she should be and where things are. It is difficult to see such a capable person come to this. On the other hand, a sense of compassion and attentiveness is awakened in those around her.

So, although the person affected with dementia may not be fully aware, attentive care can reach through, and certainly allows the person giving the care to be more fully human and compassionate, and look upon little things in a very positive way. A smile or an unexpected word bears witness to this.

If we go beyond the visible, and try to see the person as she is, it is possible to discover a beauty not otherwise perceived. Physical or mental impairments often arouse a certain fear, and yet God has placed his beauty in each of us. We are challenged to discover this beauty in all we meet, imperfect as they may be.

DISCOVERY! DISCOVERY! DISCOVERY!

AWARENESS! AWARENESS! AWARENESS!

These 2 words have been in my consciousness lately! Listening to the news and documentaries, most of the time people, scientist, doctors, ...etc. talk about discovering. Can it be that we have now realized that everything we need is there? Is the cure for cancer not so much in finding something that is not there but in realizing that all the pollution, pesticides, insecticides, preservatives, fertilizers, nuclear spills, etc. is the cause of cancer? Could it be that we need to be aware that a healthy way of life is the cure for cancer and other diseases? Maybe our pursuit for money has blinded from the negative effects of what we perceive as development!

When I read the book: The Transformation of Desire by Diarmid O'Murchu I realized that the sensible way of life is just about considered a utopia because it makes so much sense. Yet it will require such a shift in our way of thinking.

So, as Anthony De Mello used to say to those who would ask him what was the most important attitude to have he would always answer: AWARENESS, AWARENESS, AWARENESS.

Could that attitude save our planet? I think so. What do you think?

Life is good, for the most part. There is much to be thankful for and little to complain about.

But then, things become a little too routine, boring. Maybe a dream for future plans and goals – which provided anticipation, hope and excitement – is thwarted or delayed. You had thought you could move forward, but realize you will have to wait. Life seems to be at a standstill.

It's at times like this when trusting in God is difficult. I often wonder if Jesus, before beginning his ministry, ever had a conversation with the Father like: "Don't you think it would better if...?" Or at least thought it. I'm sure he wrestled with many an "ideal" or "if only" fantasy!

Being grounded in reality and life – just as it is – is a demanding call. It's at times like this, I realize that my heart and sights have to be fixed on Christ, asking for the grace to live and love fully, waiting for what is not yet.

And, yes, it's still hard!

Headlines, Comics and Obituaries: these are the parts of newspapers I read first. The Headlines, to be aware of the goings on in the world; the Comics, to be amused; the Obituaries, to see if anyone I know has died. Often, I only find names of strangers, but fairly frequently I learn of the death of former classmates or their parents, friends of the family, people I may have worked with or known in one capacity or another. Sometimes, I am able to attend the funeral, or at least pray for them and the families. I am also drawn to reflect on my own journey towards this passage to a new existence.

I've always believed that when we die, we go to heaven ... or hell. I was present at my father's bedside when he died. I have also been present when many of our sisters have made this passage into eternity. In most cases, it was a very peaceful event.

I see death and dying, as a process of rebirth. One day, at the death of a sister, I understood in a totally new way that death is but a passage into a new and wonderful, albeit unknown, life. From the womb into this world, from this world into the unknown of "life after death", we move continually into newness, even as we traverse this earthly life. Horizons expand, new worlds are opened up, and new freedoms are experienced.

Yes, there is a grieving, because the known must be left behind, and the unknown must be explored, experienced and embraced. Parents, family, and friends in this world; God, Jesus, Mary, saints, and all who have passed on before us, in the next: people are there to offer guidance and support.

Death and birth happen constantly in my life. Am I always ready to live through the process? Am I ready to welcome newness even as the familiar becomes unfamiliar and transforms into the unexpected?