Sisters of the Presentation of Mary

Last week I had the joy of partaking in a pilgrimage in the footsteps of St. Francis in Assisi. We visited the little church he had rebuilt when he heard the call from Christ to "Repair my Church," the monastery given to him by the Benedictines, the monastery of the Sisters of St. Clare, and even celebrated the Eucharist in the crypt of St. Francis' tomb.

Throughout our pilgrimage, we were invited to ponder the words of St. Francis: "God is – and that is sufficient." "Love is not loved!"

It was striking to:

...learn how much Francis desired and strove to be conformed to Christ – so much so that Christ gave to him the gift of the stigmata.

...see the radical poverty in which Francis lived (rock floor of cave for a bed, a patched tunic), yet also with such profound joy and love for all of creation, all of life as gift.

...ponder that in his latter years, he was so united with God that his prayer consisted of a single word repeated over and over in love: "You! You!"

As we visited the various Franciscan Basilicas and monasteries, we met up with numerous young Franciscans who were congregating in Assisi for a conference. Many religious vocations, and so alive with joy! It was very uplifting to witness!

With Brother Sun and Sister Moon, I give thanks for St. Francis, and thanks and praise to God!

Some time ago, I was invited to the celebrations of Duck Lake's 100th anniversary as a town. At the same time, it was the 100th anniversary of the ACFC, the French Canadian Association of Saskatchewan. It was a wonderful experience! And it made me recognize a characteristic which most of the people of Saskatchewan possess, without being aware of how precious it is.

Saskatchewan is a land of immigrants ... here, we can find every race, almost every nationality and every culture under the sun. Yet, by and large, we get along well, we are known for our hospitality and openness. Just think of Telemiracle! Whether we are French, English, Ukrainian, German, Phillipino, Japanese, Sudanese, Chinese, Metis or First Nation, by and large, we are one when it comes to helping each other. I know for a fact that people in more populated provinces envy us on that point; they can't get over how friendly we all are! I think it is a trait we inherited from our forebears who came and settled in small settlements far from each other, and perhaps lonely for the homeland. It was natural to come to each other's help, since everyone depended on the others to survive!

There is still pride in our own culture, our own language, our own expression of faith, but there is also a respect in the culture, the language and the religion of others, because deep down, we are all the same! It is like a huge mosaic, where every little piece is part of a beautiful masterpiece. I saw that in Duck Lake a few weeks ago. And I was so proud to be part of those immigrants who came here to find a better life, and who built a province and a land where the people are known for their friendship and their spirit of cooperation.

My blog last month, I spoke of dementia and specifically Alzheimer's and how these diseases can affect family and caregivers.

Today, March 8, I learned that my brother-in-law passed away as a result of a seizure. He was younger than I thought; he would have been 57 in June. It is truly a shock for the family: his wife, 4 children and their spouses and children, and his siblings and parents. At the same time, it is something of a relief to know that the suffering is over, and that, as my sister termed it, "He is once again truly himself" and in a better place.

I'm not sure yet what my feelings are around this. I'm glad that the uncertainty and suffering that the family has had to endure these past years is over. This has been for those close to him physically truly a time of Lent, of Prayer, Fasting, and Sharing (Almsgiving). He now knows the Resurrection, and each of us left behind need to continue walking the path toward Easter.

When I mentioned to my sister that it was finally over, she immediately said that in reality this is just a beginning. So true, -- life will continue, but this is the beginning of a new phase, a phase of continued growth and vitality. I know that faith and the spirituality lived by this family will carry them, and us, through the difficult days to come until the funeral.

So, these are my thoughts for today. Somewhat disjointed, and just the beginning of living through this first death among my siblings...

I am a procrastinator. As such, I often think of TIME and ponder on its meaning ... all this while TIME is slipping by and the things I have to do don't get done! Do you know what I mean? However, I have come to realize that TIME is a purely human invention or concept, albeit a necessary one. In any society, there has to be a common understanding of the concept of TIME and an acceptance of the meaning that the particular society gives it. That does not mean that all societies (or individuals!) have to accept that particular definition of TIME. And that is what makes it so hard for a procrastinator to operate in a TIME-obsessed society!

I was pondering that these last few days, as I was trying hard to find a topic for this blog! Have you noticed that there is no TIME in Nature? We speak of an early Spring or a late Fall, but is there a clock somewhere in the bowels of the earth that decides that Spring has to be on March 22nd or Fall on September 21st? No, both come when Nature is ready for it, whether it is a month "later" or a week "sooner". Even the sun and the moon do not set or rise at a set time every day ... we are the ones who have set the hour and the minute of their rising and setting, but it's never the same!

I think that we, in the Western world have somehow become obsessed with TIME. Some people actually judge the quality of a person by their promptitude – or lack of! They will quite likely have a hard time getting used to Heaven, where there is no TIME. How blissful that will be for us poor procrastinators! What do you think? Will the world stop turning (and marking TIME!) if one is not on TIME for an appointment or a meeting? Well, there it is .... and now it's TIME for me to send this Blog ... but I would really love to hear what you think .... if you have TIME!

In a recent conversation, someone mentioned that she did not want to have dementia of any kind because she did not want to burden her loved ones and not be aware....

This remark led me to reflect. My brother-in-law was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's at the age of 59 –. This form of the disease can progress very quickly. And it has – he now requires institutionalization so as to receive proper treatment and care for his particular needs. Significant deterioration of the brain has been occurred within the past 2 ½ months.

This has been a very difficult time for the family. The two years leading up to the diagnosis were almost more difficult, since the symptoms made no sense and family knew not how to react. It was akin to travelling an unknown bumpy road in the dark. Although now there is still a lot of unpredictability, it is still possible to connect with the known – for example, he does seem to show recognition of people he has known. It's a small thing, but heartening all the same.

Dementia may even has its "up side": One of our sisters was a rather fearful person, often appearing to be unwelcoming and even suspicious of others. When she lost her memory, she was happy and welcoming, even wanting to be hugged. She loved reading, and could read the same article over and over again; it was always new! It was a delight to visit her!

Another Sister has severe short term memory loss. She often forgets the simplest things (e.g. where the cups or dessert are in the cafeteria lineup). She is very aware of her loss, but is generally cheerful, and does ask about where she should be and where things are. It is difficult to see such a capable person come to this. On the other hand, a sense of compassion and attentiveness is awakened in those around her.

So, although the person affected with dementia may not be fully aware, attentive care can reach through, and certainly allows the person giving the care to be more fully human and compassionate, and look upon little things in a very positive way. A smile or an unexpected word bears witness to this.

If we go beyond the visible, and try to see the person as she is, it is possible to discover a beauty not otherwise perceived. Physical or mental impairments often arouse a certain fear, and yet God has placed his beauty in each of us. We are challenged to discover this beauty in all we meet, imperfect as they may be.

DISCOVERY! DISCOVERY! DISCOVERY!

AWARENESS! AWARENESS! AWARENESS!

These 2 words have been in my consciousness lately! Listening to the news and documentaries, most of the time people, scientist, doctors, ...etc. talk about discovering. Can it be that we have now realized that everything we need is there? Is the cure for cancer not so much in finding something that is not there but in realizing that all the pollution, pesticides, insecticides, preservatives, fertilizers, nuclear spills, etc. is the cause of cancer? Could it be that we need to be aware that a healthy way of life is the cure for cancer and other diseases? Maybe our pursuit for money has blinded from the negative effects of what we perceive as development!

When I read the book: The Transformation of Desire by Diarmid O'Murchu I realized that the sensible way of life is just about considered a utopia because it makes so much sense. Yet it will require such a shift in our way of thinking.

So, as Anthony De Mello used to say to those who would ask him what was the most important attitude to have he would always answer: AWARENESS, AWARENESS, AWARENESS.

Could that attitude save our planet? I think so. What do you think?

Life is good, for the most part. There is much to be thankful for and little to complain about.

But then, things become a little too routine, boring. Maybe a dream for future plans and goals – which provided anticipation, hope and excitement – is thwarted or delayed. You had thought you could move forward, but realize you will have to wait. Life seems to be at a standstill.

It's at times like this when trusting in God is difficult. I often wonder if Jesus, before beginning his ministry, ever had a conversation with the Father like: "Don't you think it would better if...?" Or at least thought it. I'm sure he wrestled with many an "ideal" or "if only" fantasy!

Being grounded in reality and life – just as it is – is a demanding call. It's at times like this, I realize that my heart and sights have to be fixed on Christ, asking for the grace to live and love fully, waiting for what is not yet.

And, yes, it's still hard!

Headlines, Comics and Obituaries: these are the parts of newspapers I read first. The Headlines, to be aware of the goings on in the world; the Comics, to be amused; the Obituaries, to see if anyone I know has died. Often, I only find names of strangers, but fairly frequently I learn of the death of former classmates or their parents, friends of the family, people I may have worked with or known in one capacity or another. Sometimes, I am able to attend the funeral, or at least pray for them and the families. I am also drawn to reflect on my own journey towards this passage to a new existence.

I've always believed that when we die, we go to heaven ... or hell. I was present at my father's bedside when he died. I have also been present when many of our sisters have made this passage into eternity. In most cases, it was a very peaceful event.

I see death and dying, as a process of rebirth. One day, at the death of a sister, I understood in a totally new way that death is but a passage into a new and wonderful, albeit unknown, life. From the womb into this world, from this world into the unknown of "life after death", we move continually into newness, even as we traverse this earthly life. Horizons expand, new worlds are opened up, and new freedoms are experienced.

Yes, there is a grieving, because the known must be left behind, and the unknown must be explored, experienced and embraced. Parents, family, and friends in this world; God, Jesus, Mary, saints, and all who have passed on before us, in the next: people are there to offer guidance and support.

Death and birth happen constantly in my life. Am I always ready to live through the process? Am I ready to welcome newness even as the familiar becomes unfamiliar and transforms into the unexpected?

Autumn is a time to honor the abundance and bounty of the earth. As we look at the harvest moon we know that gathering the crops is getting near. Do you also notice that there is dust in the air.....grain dust!

I seriously dislike questions!

Why?

I suppose what I like least about questions is having to answer them.

Every night
The horizon lights up
Swirls of pink and orange
Fading to blue and purple

Few bother to look anymore
At a blessing
That only comes once a day

 -Jessica Millsaps

NO LESS THAN THE TREES AND THE STARS,
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE
AND WHETHER OR NOT IT IS CLEAR TO YOU
THE UNIVERSE IS UNFOLDING AS IT SHOULD  

(Max Ehrman)