Sisters of the Presentation of Mary

The first reading on Monday of Holy Week has been popping up in my reflection and prayer these past weeks. The "title" for Isaiah 42:1-7 in NRSV reads, "The Servant, a Light to the Nations".

"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations". These words are usually applied to Jesus as Savior. However, it occurred to me that I am that servant. I have been chosen by the Lord; he has put his spirit on me and shown me that I am a delight for him. And, through me, justice will be brought to the nations, that is, to the people whom I meet and have met throughout my life.

The following verses especially struck me: "He will not cry or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; a bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice." These words brought to my mind the little ones, the broken ones, the hurting ones whom I encountered in my life, especially while I was parish secretary at Guadalupe Aboriginal Parish. These wounded ones exist also in our families, in our communities, and reveal to us who Jesus really is. These little ones also are that servant, who have no voice, no power, and yet are visible in the street, in our encounters with one another. Their wick may be burning dimly, yet their spirit is not fully quenched, and needs but a compassionate soul to revive that spirit. Jesus in me, and Jesus in them, allows for the flame to burn more strongly, to work toward justice in our world.

Yes, the God who created the heavens and "spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people upon it and spirit to those who walk in it" --this God has taken us by the hand and kept us; given us a covenant to the people, a light to the nations...

This may be an odd reflection in this Easter season, season of resurrection and new life and hope, but I find appropriate that this text keeps coming to mind as I live my daily routine. It reminds me that the Resurrected Jesus is especially present in each of us who are weak, hurting, and that even so, we become a Light, reflect the Light of Christ around us.

Today, I want to share the email my sister sent to us the night of the day her husband passed away. I found it so beautiful, a true witness of how our faith can sustain us and help us live! As I indicated in my last blog, Julien was stricken with early onset Alzheimer's at the age of 50. He was 57 when he died.

A Sad Day

Well, sad for us, but, Julien is now at peace with the Lord! This morning around 6 a.m., he had a mild seizure, but his pulse went down, he lost color, they tried oxygen, but were not able to revive him. He probably didn't even wake up from his night's sleep! Dr. So called me at 6:45 to tell me, and really let me know how sad he was for us! It was touching! It just felt totally unbelievable! We always knew something like this was possible. He had the one seizure and was on anti-seizure drugs, but, I think he was deteriorating so much that his body was unable to respond - I am just guessing...We may have an autopsy, but, may never know just what gave out!

All the kids, Mo and Sofi and his parents and I went to the hospital to see him and say our goodbyes. He was so still - it was hard. A priest came and blessed him. We spent the day together at our place and Julien's siblings, my brother, Ray and a few friends came over. We could swap stories and remember. Many phone calls - the word is getting out so fast - social media, mostly!

It was his dad and his aunt's 82nd birthday today! His dad feels blessed that he went to heaven on his birthday! You just have to look at the bright side.

I had such a good day with him on Tuesday - he totally recognized me and was so happy to see me - smiled a lot and "talked" a lot! It was a rewarding day and will always stay with me! We all had something we can hang on to and a million memories - all good! We are all drained tonite! I really don't want to rush into anything.

The funeral will be next Friday, March 16 at Our Lady of Fatima church. I have no other details - much to do - all new to me! I am so sorry to bring such sad news! You are all so dear to us and this is very hard for you, especially if you are far away! It's been tough all along, and we were getting ready, but, we just don't know the Lord's timing! He went down so much in the last 5-6 months. Everyone tried so hard to make it better for him. The staff at the hospital were very good. The family were all trying to get there once a week or so. We helped him eat and just stayed with him and tried to connect. Everyone has been so supportive.

It (Alzheimer's) is just an awful disease and it took him way too soon and hard!

We are all going to miss him so much, but feel so blessed to have been part of his life, our lives! He was the best! I love him so! I am just so happy he is done with suffering! He is whole again - re-set -"re-booted"!!! He has his glorious body with the Lord and that gives me joy and peace! It will just be so hard to get used to our new reality! Please call anytime! I will be around...much love to all of you!

Mary Alice

My blog last month, I spoke of dementia and specifically Alzheimer's and how these diseases can affect family and caregivers.

Today, March 8, I learned that my brother-in-law passed away as a result of a seizure. He was younger than I thought; he would have been 57 in June. It is truly a shock for the family: his wife, 4 children and their spouses and children, and his siblings and parents. At the same time, it is something of a relief to know that the suffering is over, and that, as my sister termed it, "He is once again truly himself" and in a better place.

I'm not sure yet what my feelings are around this. I'm glad that the uncertainty and suffering that the family has had to endure these past years is over. This has been for those close to him physically truly a time of Lent, of Prayer, Fasting, and Sharing (Almsgiving). He now knows the Resurrection, and each of us left behind need to continue walking the path toward Easter.

When I mentioned to my sister that it was finally over, she immediately said that in reality this is just a beginning. So true, -- life will continue, but this is the beginning of a new phase, a phase of continued growth and vitality. I know that faith and the spirituality lived by this family will carry them, and us, through the difficult days to come until the funeral.

So, these are my thoughts for today. Somewhat disjointed, and just the beginning of living through this first death among my siblings...

In a recent conversation, someone mentioned that she did not want to have dementia of any kind because she did not want to burden her loved ones and not be aware....

This remark led me to reflect. My brother-in-law was diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's at the age of 59 –. This form of the disease can progress very quickly. And it has – he now requires institutionalization so as to receive proper treatment and care for his particular needs. Significant deterioration of the brain has been occurred within the past 2 ½ months.

This has been a very difficult time for the family. The two years leading up to the diagnosis were almost more difficult, since the symptoms made no sense and family knew not how to react. It was akin to travelling an unknown bumpy road in the dark. Although now there is still a lot of unpredictability, it is still possible to connect with the known – for example, he does seem to show recognition of people he has known. It's a small thing, but heartening all the same.

Dementia may even has its "up side": One of our sisters was a rather fearful person, often appearing to be unwelcoming and even suspicious of others. When she lost her memory, she was happy and welcoming, even wanting to be hugged. She loved reading, and could read the same article over and over again; it was always new! It was a delight to visit her!

Another Sister has severe short term memory loss. She often forgets the simplest things (e.g. where the cups or dessert are in the cafeteria lineup). She is very aware of her loss, but is generally cheerful, and does ask about where she should be and where things are. It is difficult to see such a capable person come to this. On the other hand, a sense of compassion and attentiveness is awakened in those around her.

So, although the person affected with dementia may not be fully aware, attentive care can reach through, and certainly allows the person giving the care to be more fully human and compassionate, and look upon little things in a very positive way. A smile or an unexpected word bears witness to this.

If we go beyond the visible, and try to see the person as she is, it is possible to discover a beauty not otherwise perceived. Physical or mental impairments often arouse a certain fear, and yet God has placed his beauty in each of us. We are challenged to discover this beauty in all we meet, imperfect as they may be.

We do not only shape our environment. our environment shapes us.  

This was the topic of one of Ron Rolheiser’s articles a few years back.( I have not been able to find the article and I don’t remember the title.)

However, this article was truly enlightening for me.  It caused a shift in my thinking.  As I remember it, he demonstrated how our natural environment influences how we live, think and work, even how we pray.  Looking around me, I realized how true this is.

I have a cousin who was raised on the prairies in Southern Saskatchewan.  Her husband, was stationed   near Prince Albert.  As soon as their sons were finished high school, she then told her family that she could no longer live among the trees which were stifling her.  They moved back south…  And yet, northern Saskatchewan trees are not very tall!

I had a similar experience of my own.  I was at a Retreat House in Quebec.  The grounds were fairly extensive, beautiful and near a river.  But… the trees were very tall, and I could only see a small patch of sky, even near the river.  I was only there a week, but have never been so homesick for open spaces!  I could never live in the mountains!

One of our Sisters visiting from France observed how small the houses seemed to be.  Environment is part of the reason.  It is easier to heat a small house with lower ceilings.  I have also noticed that economics play a role in house sizes and architecture; the better the economy, the bigger the houses.  I have observed this in cities where houses built in different economic climates are built differently.

Climate also plays a role in how we build.  In Saskatchewan, we have screens on all our windows; in B.C., they are not needed:  no mosquitoes!  In Canada, we have our windows and homes winterized; in warmer climes, windows are simply openings and protection from the elements is likewise adapted..

Even dancing is affected by environment.  A professor had us notice that dances from mountainous countries tend to occur in a small space, with a lot of foot movement.  An example is Scottish highland dancing.  On the other hand, Jewish dancing which originated in flat open desert land tends to take up a lot of “floor space”, using a lot of body movement.

Our thinking and even our prayer is influenced by our environment, natural and manmade.  If we live in wide open spaces, our thinking tends to be more open; in more restricted environments, thought processes can be more introverted, less “liberal”.

I also believe that genetically some environmental factors and adaptations are passed on to successive generations.  My father was from northern Saskatchewan, and my grandfather spent a lot of time in the far north of the province.  My mother was from southern Saskatchewan and adapted well to this environment.  I am very comfortable in both environments, and I believe my thinking and praying have been influenced, both by my upbringing and the milieu in which I have lived.

I would love to rediscover Ron Rolheiser’s article.  He said it so much better!

The”Huron Carol” is known to us by the more familiar words: “Twas in the moon of wintertime when all the birds had fled…”  These are two English translations of the “Huron Carol” written in the Huron/Wendat language by St. Jean de Brébeuf.

This carol is one of the first that comes to my mind when I think of Christmas.  My first introduction to it occurred when I was thirteen and my aunt asked me to copy the music for her choir; I was proud to do it, and it took me a week! It had to be perfect!  I have always loved the tune and the words.

I recently discovered the above literal translation by John Steckley/Teondecheron on the internet.  Further on in this literal translation:  “Marie, she has just given birth. Rejoice! Jesus, he is born.”  The three elders having arrived and seen Jesus, “They praised (made a name) many times, saying ‘Hurray, he is good in nature.  They greeted him with reverence (greased his scalp many times), saying ‘Hurray’ Jesus, he is born”.

This translation, and another quite similar, are also beautiful and true to First Nations culture as I understand it.  And they are beautiful and inspiring to me…

If you Google “The Huron Carol”, you will find many further sites, among others one of Bruce Cockburn, which I found quite enlightening.

Headlines, Comics and Obituaries: these are the parts of newspapers I read first. The Headlines, to be aware of the goings on in the world; the Comics, to be amused; the Obituaries, to see if anyone I know has died. Often, I only find names of strangers, but fairly frequently I learn of the death of former classmates or their parents, friends of the family, people I may have worked with or known in one capacity or another. Sometimes, I am able to attend the funeral, or at least pray for them and the families. I am also drawn to reflect on my own journey towards this passage to a new existence.

I've always believed that when we die, we go to heaven ... or hell. I was present at my father's bedside when he died. I have also been present when many of our sisters have made this passage into eternity. In most cases, it was a very peaceful event.

I see death and dying, as a process of rebirth. One day, at the death of a sister, I understood in a totally new way that death is but a passage into a new and wonderful, albeit unknown, life. From the womb into this world, from this world into the unknown of "life after death", we move continually into newness, even as we traverse this earthly life. Horizons expand, new worlds are opened up, and new freedoms are experienced.

Yes, there is a grieving, because the known must be left behind, and the unknown must be explored, experienced and embraced. Parents, family, and friends in this world; God, Jesus, Mary, saints, and all who have passed on before us, in the next: people are there to offer guidance and support.

Death and birth happen constantly in my life. Am I always ready to live through the process? Am I ready to welcome newness even as the familiar becomes unfamiliar and transforms into the unexpected?

I recently spent 3 weekdays at our cabin, Shalom, at Emma Lake. It was a wonderful, restful 3 days. The Tuesday was especially spectacular. My only regret was that I did not have a camera with me, so as to share what we saw with others.

Over the years, I have collected hands, that is, pictures of hands. This collection began as paper pictures of hands and many other items that I found beautiful or intriguing. Recently, I digitalized this collection. It is now stored on 4 CDs, instead of an apple box of files, and much more accessible and useful.

A few weeks back, as I was listening to the Sunday homily, I had a distraction – a good one, since it led to the writing of this blog.  

Father was talking about the Ark of the Covenant (I think!), and I hopped back to Noah’s Ark, and to the ark of the rainbow.  I was intrigued about these connections I was making.

I recently spent two weeks of holiday at our cabin at the lake. One of the things I truly enjoy at the lake is to watch wildlife in action, especially the birds which come to visit our feeders. However, this year I was faced with a puzzle and a disappointment: birds were conspicuous by their absence!

Revelations take many forms and shapes throughout our lives.  I don’t mean thunder-and-lightning revelations as in Sacred Scripture.  I believe revelations can be more subtle and yet just as life transforming as Moses’ call from the burning bush or John the Baptist’s call into the desert.

I seriously dislike questions!

Why?

I suppose what I like least about questions is having to answer them.