Sisters of the Presentation of Mary

To Be A Saint

Do you have a role model or mentor you look up to? Aspire to imitate? Someone who fires up your imagination, dreams and passion? Perhaps someone who uses gifts and virtues you want to develop (for me, that would be mindfulness, loving attentiveness!), or someone who is radically different, compelling and challenging, one who is fully alive in their own way.

What grabs your attention? Anyone want to share – would love to hear from you!

I just finished watching a video called "A Vast Company of Witnesses: The Communion of Saints" (Episode 8, Catholicism Word on
Fire film & study series), and was reminded of a desire of mine – to be a saint! Robert Barron, in his commentary during this episode, recounts how the sister of St. Thomas Aquinas asked him, "What must I do to be a saint?" He replied, "Will it!"

Yes, "will it!" We have been gifted with many diverse saints – both known / written about, as well as the many "unknown" (to the universal Church) who surround us day to day. Role models abound right in our midst, not to mention the many spiritual practices, traditions, writings, and God's persistence in calling us to fuller conversion and life.

This has reminded me of my need to be inspired, to continually seek out the spiritual writings or biographies of saints (both
recognized and unrecognized). The Little Way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, by John Nelson, has always been one of my favorites, and one that I pick up again and again, and I've been wanting to pick up the writings of Edith Stein.

Would you care to share a book, film, story or experience which inspired you in faith, hope and love? Maybe a saint who is your favorite, and why?  Let's get something started... 

No need to compete...

I've resolved to do something.  Whether this
resolution will stick and I will allow myself to be transformed is another
matter!

I'm talking about my impulse to compete.  No,
not in card games (strangely, I'm not attached to this then!  Probably because I forget to count – much to
the dismay of my zealous partners! J

I mean competing with other people for recognition, and affirmation, maybe, (I
feel so juvenile saying this) even attention?
I was visiting with some peers recently, and was struck by how easy it
is to – inadvertently – domineer conversation, to fall into trying to prove
oneself ("I know more, have experienced much"), to wrestle with a pang of envy
at someone else's success.

Was it Richard Rohr who said something along the lines that we don't have to fight
for crumbs, like chicks when the 'hash' is thrown?  God gives to each of us, personally, what we
need.

Lord,
help me be more rooted in your love, knowing I don't have to compete for it.

Good News!

This is already a bit dated, but it has to be written: I will be professing final vows!  Yes!

If I look back at the journey leading
up to this, it is so apparent that God has "brought me safe thus far" - a generous grace. 

Remember that adage: "it takes a village to raise a child"?  Well,
you probably could say the same for a religious (actually any vocation, I'm
sure).  God's love through Family, friends, mentors, community – as well as life experiences – has made this
possible for me.  God is so good!

Thank you, dear Sisters, for your ongoing support, guidance, prayers, and for welcoming me into this beautiful
Congregation – the Sisters of the Presentation of Mary!  I am so excited to say YES, with you, to
offer my life and all to God!

As for all the other people whom I know (or don't!) and have been praying for me – thank you.

My spirit has been buoyed by your prayers, and I am grateful.

"My soul rejoices in the Lord, and my spirit exults in God my Savior!"

It seems these days I can't think of
anything to write on – except quoting from inspiring writings!  So, in this vein, I am resorting to an
article from one of the Daily Meditations
by Richard Rohr, entitled "Falling in Love:"

"Somewhere each day we have to fall in
love, with someone, something, some moment, event, phrase.  Somehow each day we must allow the softening
of the heart.  Otherwise our hearts will
move inevitably toward hardness [and ] we will move toward cynicism, bitterness,
fear and despair...

We have to create and discover the parties
of the heart, the place where we know we can enjoy, the place where we can give
of ourselves....Ask the Lord to give you the grace to fall in love" (pg. 84).

Valentine's Day is approaching.  But regardless, this is my prayer:  Lord, give me the grace to fall in love, to
wholly give of myself to You, in all of reality, life, as it is.

The Power of Conversation

Our local community has been reading and discussing the book: Turning to one
another: simple conversations to restore hope to the future, by Margaret J.
Wheatley.  As you may have guessed by the
title, its basic premise is that we can change the world if we start listening
to one another and have simple, truthful conversation.

I've decided to challenge myself to intentionally apply the principles in this book
to everyday life.  This is why, I've made myself a little poster in my room with these questions (p.7, Wheatley):  

What do you see / notice? 

What are you experiencing in your life and the lives of those you care about? 

What do you wish were different?

Then I recall what Wheatley observed in stories of great humanitarian changes and
work: "somewhere in the description of how it all began is the phrase: 'Some
friends and I started talking...'" (p.26)  So,
I have to risk initiating a conversation about something I, we care about, and
that may need change.

If only that were all there is to it.
Wheatley identifies key principles, or behaviors, that we have to
emphasize before beginning a formal conversation process (all of which I need
to hone!):

·We acknowledge one another as equals

·We try to stay curious about each other. (Especially challenging when I disagree with the other – I
have to silently remind myself that they have something to teach me)

·We recognize that we need each other's help to become better listeners.

·We slow down so we have time to think and reflect.

·We remember that conversation is the natural way humans think together.

·We expect it to be messy at times.  (Wheatley, p. 33 – 38)

Anyways, there are probably many of you who
have read or are reading this book as well.

I'd welcome any tips in honing this art – it's going to take the rest of my life!

"Come,
Lord Jesus, come.  Maranatha..."

At the end of November, I was blessed with a guided one-day "Advent Retreat."  Within the reading materials we received,
there was the following text, adapted from Preparing for Christmas by Richard Rohr:

"Come, Lord Jesus,"

the Advent mantra, reminds us that we are called to live out of a deliberate emptiness, a kind of chosen non-fulfillment.  Perfect
fullness is always to come, and we do not need to demand it now.  This keeps the field of life wide open and
especially open to grace and to a future created by God rather than by us.  This is what it means to be "awake," as the
gospel urges us (Matthew 24:42)!

This really struck me.  To be "awake" is to be open, to make room and space for whatever God has to give us, to show us.  I had always thought of this as a vigilance in preparation for the "last days," as in "you do not know the hour of your
final breath, when the Lord comes."  But it's broader than that! Being awake now means to be attentive to those subtle
proddings, to let go of control of who I think I am and what I am meant to do.  After all, it isn't only in the final hour God comes to me!

God,
grant me the grace to live as open as our snowy plains, open to receive your
grace and life.

Come,
Lord Jesus, come...

November 18, 2012

Today at Sunday Eucharist, I was struck by the priest's homily, and would like to share it with you. In reference to today's Gospel - Mark 13:24-30 – he stressed that it was not only apocryphal in nature, but held the following message (which I will now try to recall!):

Throughout our lives, we encounter catastrophe: the death of a loved one... the end of a relationship we thought would last forever...the "Friday lay-off" notice...economic crash. Often as not, these catastrophes actually happen because (or in spite) of having done something right. We have to remind ourselves that Jesus, too, "did the right thing," and received condemnation, even death, in return. We cannot avoid facing the same.

It is at times like these, we are at a loss – left hanging. It is uncomfortable and painful. It feels like complete destruction of the world as we knew it, of all we held dear. However, it is also at times like this, when we are forcibly stripped, that we learn who we really are, and what is essential. Our identity and character can become clearer and stronger.

The one thing to avoid doing when we are faced with catastrophe in our lives, and left hanging, is to seek an immediate and new security. This is what we are most inclined to do, because we think that "this is the end." But to do this erects a barrier to what lies around the corner, if we trust and are patient – and that is resurrection.

Our challenge, then, when faced with catastrophe, is to allow ourselves to be "left hanging," and suspended...knowing that in the end, we will be caught and held.

On a recent visit with some family members, it occurred to me that God has given me a great grace – to be content with life as it is.

Now, for those of you who are wise and mature, this is probably second nature. But it wasn't always the case for me. I was always striving to find the "perfect solution," the perfect idea, the right response. Special visits and encounters sometimes left me grieving what was unsaid or done, that we weren't squeezing every possible drop of possibility and enjoyment from the moment. Worse yet, were the realizations that I had been mistaken or ungracious (I know – I am praying for humility!).

I think it was Ron Rolheiser who wrote about this experience as part of the human condition, and that it is our challenge to accept that everything this side of life will be imperfect and incomplete – an "unfinished symphony." What serenity and joy there is to be had when we can!

Thank you, Abba, for the grace to enjoy the here and now...the colors and crispness of autumn... the giggle and hug of a niece, nephew...a shared meal...my incomplete, but beautiful, life.

It is enough.

Carole Osborn does not let her sense of inadequacy get in the way of her desire and decision to serve. She says: "I fall short of my own ideals over and over. Yet despite the certainty of my unworthiness, I feel spirit urging me to venture forth again."

In this spirit, she prays the following....:

So,

God, I ask you to use me, anyway.

Take my fears and use me, anyway.

Take my failures and use me anyway.

Take my arrogance and use me, anyway.

Take my greed and use me, anyway.

Take my guilt and use me, anyway.

Take my confusion and use me, anyway.

Take my regret and use me, anyway.

I offer all of myself to you.

Use me to serve many or few.

In pain or in joy.

Use me as you will.

Recently I was gifted with a day retreat, which was based on a rock that I had chosen (or had chosen me). This rock is very unusual, and reminded me of a cross between a skull and a beehive. During the retreat, I was invited to reflect on the positive and negative qualities of this rock, and then how these mirrored my own qualities. This reflection, in turn, helped me to hear God's call to me.

This sacred stone inspired me to write a poem, based not only on those reflections, but on the self-discovery and transformation God has graced me with at this time in my life. With that in mind, I'd like to share this poem with you:

Stone Heart

I remember how

I paced

Determined

My no was NO!

and

"So,"

You said,

"I will break your heart

of stone

and carve out holes

and pores instead

for sun and Spirit

to whistle through

and rain to cleanse

your battered soul.

And in these caverns

you will see

the space allowed

For you and Me

Not yawning graves

or dusty bones

but refuge shared

Companions free."

Who knew it wasn't

forced routes and roads

that others took

color

by number

fortress

of stone.

Thanks for these

Welcome cracks

of light

and joy

and,

oh!

Surprises of

this long lost

friend.

Lately, I have been working shifts in our community infirmary – a great learning experience, and, of course, a blessing! It's not often that I get to be with our elderly sisters, so I am enjoying this time with them.

My experience of working in an infirmary is probably similar to others. It has made me think of growing old, how some day I will be dependent on others to care for my basic, every day needs, and all the humiliations and frustrations that come with that. No one wants to lose capability and independence, to know that one's memory is unreliable, or that even though you know what you want, or what you're trying to say, others cannot understand.

The thing, though, about being with people at this stage of life, is you learn to live in the moment. Not much else matters. Oh, sure, there are tasks to be done in this work, but it's like you are in a new world order. There is only this elder's smile or tear, a whisper or plea to hear and decipher, the shaky hand reaching for a touch, a consoling grasp. You are drawn in, beyond yourself, to connect, to be fully present. And any time that happens, you are fully alive.

It always amazes me, to discover that, when people are most vulnerable, and seeming to be at their weakest, their presence, even their neediness are precious gifts to those of us who are often living for the next moment.

Live this moment...the fullness of God is here.

Recently, I read several chapters on desire from the book Holy Eros: Pathways to a Passionate God. I am hopeful when reminded that in our faith, we have the belief that God's will for us can be discerned within our own deepest desires. Our task is to "order all objectives of our desire in accord with their true relation to God. "Authentic desire" (from God) takes us "beyond ourselves and leads us into enlivening and generative relationships." In fact, the authors emphasized the shift occurring in Christian spirituality, where "God's will" is replaced by "God's desire."

At one point, I found it refreshing to read that we can imagine God saying to us, "Surprise me!" After all, "might we not expect that after years of forming a trustworthy conscience, God would invite us to trust and follow our desires, those holy longings that have their origin in God's great ambitions for us?" So, befriending and testing our desires is an unending discipline of authentic Christian life.

Go on.

Dare to pray for what you desire...

If you ever wanted to improve the way you communicate and relate with others, I recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshall B. Rosenberg.

He develops the NVC process, which consists of either expressing honestly or receiving empathically through four components:

• The concrete actions we observe that affect our well-being.

• How we feel in relation to what we observe.

• The needs, desires, values, etc. that create our feelings.

• The concrete actions we request in order to enrich our lives.

For example, a person might say: "I feel frustrated when you come late, because I need to start the meeting on time to accommodate our agenda. If we need extra time today, would you please stay to help?"

The book is simply written and guides you through exercises to hone your skills in these components. It is challenging, though, and takes a great deal of awareness and empathy, as many of us have been exposed to alienating ways of communicating. Some of the challenges of this process are:

• avoiding moralistic judgments, making comparisons

• making observations without evaluating

• expressing feelings (as opposed to thoughts, judgments, opinions)

• expressing requests rather than demands and accepting non-compliance

• sustaining empathy (especially when we are receiving a negative message)

This NVC process is used worldwide in everything from counseling, anger management, to peace negotiations, and defusing potentially violent situations. Check it out!

Last week I had the joy of partaking in a pilgrimage in the footsteps of St. Francis in Assisi. We visited the little church he had rebuilt when he heard the call from Christ to "Repair my Church," the monastery given to him by the Benedictines, the monastery of the Sisters of St. Clare, and even celebrated the Eucharist in the crypt of St. Francis' tomb.

Throughout our pilgrimage, we were invited to ponder the words of St. Francis: "God is – and that is sufficient." "Love is not loved!"

It was striking to:

...learn how much Francis desired and strove to be conformed to Christ – so much so that Christ gave to him the gift of the stigmata.

...see the radical poverty in which Francis lived (rock floor of cave for a bed, a patched tunic), yet also with such profound joy and love for all of creation, all of life as gift.

...ponder that in his latter years, he was so united with God that his prayer consisted of a single word repeated over and over in love: "You! You!"

As we visited the various Franciscan Basilicas and monasteries, we met up with numerous young Franciscans who were congregating in Assisi for a conference. Many religious vocations, and so alive with joy! It was very uplifting to witness!

With Brother Sun and Sister Moon, I give thanks for St. Francis, and thanks and praise to God!

I have been blessed with a time of renewal at the General Mother House of our religious congregation – a real gift from God! With Sisters Angele and Sabine from Senegal, Carla and Marciana from Mozambique, as well as Rosalyn and Maricel from the Philippines, I am taking time to renew the fervor of my first love, in preparation for final vows.

This is an enriching experience with much to learn, many graces and blessings to receive. Different personalities, cultures and languages brought together by the love of Jesus Christ. It is incredible! There is a great deal of laughter and wonder as we encounter each other. As one sister put it, "I may not speak the same language; but I can communicate through a language from the heart."

This past week has been filled mainly with welcoming newcomers, coming to know community members, as well as the present experience and hopes of all the sisters on the "renewal pilgrimage." As we live internationality, deepening our roots in the spirituality of our congregation, we are reminded to "keep our minds, our hands, and our minds open" – open to receive come what may, open to accept the invitations to be stretched.

An experience such as this is another confirmation of the generosity of God – the abundance of mercy, and graces God is waiting to lavish upon us. As I drink in the beauty of the green gardens, blooming roses...as I hear the intermingling of languages in song and prayer...shared laughter ...as I delight in feeling a part of a family beyond borders and cultures...

...what else can I say, but, Mon Dieu! Tu es grand, tu es beau!

This Lent, our community is choosing to reflect on how our lifestyle impacts the world and other people with whom we share it. Following articles from www.lent45.org, we are looking at how our daily and habitual choices affect creation, as well as consider what changes are being required of us. The "45" refers to a calculation that if the usable area of the planet was divided evenly so that each of us receives a fair share, every person would be entitled to 4.5 acres. In other words, this is what our "Global Footprint" should be. Unfortunately, the average person in Canada requires 14.2 acres to sustain their lifestyle!

As it says on the site, "the ultimate goal of Lent is metanoia – a conversion of heart – leading you into a deeper commitment to walk in the footsteps of Jesus who lived in right relationship with creation, others, and God." Lent 4.5 challenges us to journey on this way to metanoia and right relationship, and offers guidance and suggestions through prayer, fasting and almsgiving. This week, for example, it directs us to look at living simply, and buying and eating food responsible. Also, watch "Home," an extraordinary movie about our planet on the site. It is beautiful (and daunting)!

Pope Benedict XVI told us that "if you want to cultivate peace, protect creation" (2010 World Day of Peace). Anybody else joining me in this challenge?

Check it out: www.lent45.org! Let's embrace gospel justice, protect God's creation, and transform our huge Global Footprints into the gentle tread of Jesus Christ!

Life is good, for the most part. There is much to be thankful for and little to complain about.

But then, things become a little too routine, boring. Maybe a dream for future plans and goals – which provided anticipation, hope and excitement – is thwarted or delayed. You had thought you could move forward, but realize you will have to wait. Life seems to be at a standstill.

It's at times like this when trusting in God is difficult. I often wonder if Jesus, before beginning his ministry, ever had a conversation with the Father like: "Don't you think it would better if...?" Or at least thought it. I'm sure he wrestled with many an "ideal" or "if only" fantasy!

Being grounded in reality and life – just as it is – is a demanding call. It's at times like this, I realize that my heart and sights have to be fixed on Christ, asking for the grace to live and love fully, waiting for what is not yet.

And, yes, it's still hard!

Today our local community spent the afternoon serving Christmas dinner to those less fortunate in the city. The great thing about it was that it brought people from all different backgrounds together. The volunteers took breaks to eat with the local people and their families. A youth band played carols and gospel songs for us, and children of all ages enjoyed creating crafts or running and playing with friends.

I enjoyed this chance to serve, to meet people outside of my usual circle. About 1300 people were served today, most of them poor and hungry. I couldn't help but think of how fortunate I have been in life, to have grown up in the circumstances which gave me all I needed.

Jesus was one of the poor, the homeless, born into poverty and very precarious circumstances.

He wasn't welcomed by his own people, nor the ones who were well established, rich, and powerful.

But the poor welcomed him, precisely because they weren't sated, they weren't full already. Their hands were empty, they were hungry, so their hearts had room for Christ. "Blessed are the poor, for the kingdom shall be theirs."

Lord, open my heart. Grant me a love that welcomes you, that goes out to meet you in the poor.

As Catholics, we often hear that "God is within us," or that we are members of the Body of Christ. But did you know we could say "the universe is within us"?

In her book Radical Amazement, Judy Cannato reminds us of this reality. In the beginning, with the "Big Bang," there was the miracle of the fiery birth of the world, and our birth as well. We can say it was our birth because "all matter was formed in that initial bursting forth...[and so] we must each be formed out of the primordial dust that became the stars." (Cannato, 43)

Incredible, isn't it? Realizing we come from stardust gives a whole new meaning to the passage from Jeremiah: "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..." or St. Paul speaking to the Corinthians: "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?"

So, according the theology of the cosmos, "we are all one (with the universe), connected and contained in a Holy Mystery." (Cannato, 44) You and I are connected to all that has been, is now and is to come. We do not belong to ourselves. We belong to God, to the universe!

The more we become aware of the miracle and wonder of creation, and how we are connected to and one with all, the more we will be concerned with the salvation of all creation. We respond with reverence and compassion to the universe who has given us life.