Sisters of the Presentation of Mary

Hi, my name is Sr. Mary Jane.... When I was going to high school in Saskatoon, I had a dream to be on the National Basketball team. Sports were my God and I spent most of my free time in the gym shooting hoops. I really enjoyed the game and I wanted to perfect my skills. I felt that I had to live up to the Beavis reputation that my three older sisters had created. I felt that if I was good at sports, my family would accept and love me more.

I was blessed to have great Catholic parents as role models who were committed to their faith. My family went to church on Sundays and prayed before meals, but we rarely spoke openly of our faith together. My parents witnessed their faith through their ways of living more than they spoke about it. Everyone was welcome in our home and our family life was a big priority.

When I hit University, I suddenly became a number amongst the other 24,000 students. People no longer knew me as the jock and a lot of my friends had moved away and I often found myself studying alone. The first two years of University were the loneliest years of my life. I spent hours of time studying because I was afraid of failing out. Again, my older sisters were all working towards a degree and post secondary education was an expectation to be a member of the Beavis clan. I worked as a lifeguard / swimming instructor during the summer, so I began to party with the lifeguards. At this time, I was searching for meaning and purpose in my life, and I was not finding it because I was trying to please everyone around me.

Then, I started going out with guy who was really involved in Catholic Christian Outreach. And as a result, I started getting involved with CCO too. I would go to the bible study during the week and party with the lifeguards on the weekends. I was leading a double life. At the same time, my sister was living in the discernment house in Saskatoon and she was the one who introduced me to the Sisters of the Presentation of Mary when I was twenty years old. The great friendships that she had formed there and the joy she had received from deepening her relationship with God attracted me. I wanted to do the same, so I did.

I made the choice to live at the Discernment House, so I would grow in my faith and have the experience of living in community. I had no desire to become a sister. After I moved in, it forced me to let go of the partying lifestyle and to stop living a double life. Thankfully, the sisters and young women took me where I was at in my faith.

"The House" provided an environment where I grew in my faith and where I learned how to have a personal relationship with God. Through prayer a new world opened up to me as I became aware of God's presence in my life. I remember one day when I was walking to school, I was under a lot pressure to find a summer job and for the first time I surrendered my life to God. At that moment, I felt like a load of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders and I felt filled with peace and joy because God was in control. But remarkably, this walk to school was the foundation to surrendering my life to God. Now, I am 33 years old and I am pronouncing my perpetual vows of poverty, chastity and obedience Nov. 21st.

I can tell you that it is only God who would have the power to convince me that I could live a happy fulfilling life without a husband and children. I grew up thinking that I would always get married and have children. I never knew anything different. Things changed when I moved into the DH in Saskatoon with the sisters.

My conversion of heart began when I started to pray and put God more at the center of my life. The stereotypes that I once had about the sisters, faded. I saw them as real people struggling like the rest of us to remain close to God. I no longer saw them as old, serious, church figures that never had any fun because they were always in church praying.

The sisters puzzled me because it was evident through their joy and love for life that God sufficed for them. They did not need to be married or to have children to be happy. They were fulfilled by their relationship with God and community living. I watched in awe! God was gradually opening my heart to the different vocations.

In May, I moved out of the sisters to Northern Alberta because I had found work in agriculture for a eighth month work term. This was another lonely time in my life because I knew know one. Gradually my loneliness turned to solitude. Religious life continued to come up in my prayer and I had time to process what had gone on while I lived at the sisters. I was beginning to think that religious life was more of a possibility.

However, God surprised me and I started going out with a colleague of mine. Then, as the months went by I realised that I had fallen in love with him and that this relationship was heading towards marriage. Butt, religious life was always in the back of mind. I was not ready to commit myself to someone for life until I had explored religious life more.

I desired to love universally and to bring others to know God, like the sisters, I wanted to be free like them. However, I continued to battle with God. I was unsure that I would be happy without a family. I longed to have a family, but yet yearned for a life totally devoted to God. Being the "one and only" to someone is very special. It takes a lot of trust to surrender this to God. I had a real hard time trusting God that I would be fulfilled by His love

Then, a friend invited me to a retreat and she really wanted me to go with her. But I did not want to go because I knew God was going to urge me to break up with Larry for good. I was really hesitant, but I went. Sure enough, I felt that God wanted me to break off the relationship permanently, but for the first time ever I felt that I could live a happy celibate life without a husband and children. This was a huge revelation for me and a milestone in my journey.

At times, I felt like God was calling me to jump off a diving board into cement. I sensed that I was being called to let go of my work in agriculture as an agronomist, which I spent five years of education to get to that point in my career. I have a Bachelor Science in Agriculture with a major in crop science. I was being asked to give up a home and family of my own. Our congregation is mostly older sisters with a few younger ones, so I asked myself if I would be the last one to join our congregation.

However, one day I was praying and God had convinced me that by living the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience that I would be happy. I would be fulfilled without a family. There was this joy within me that I knew only came from God. I finally jumped off the diving board in saying, "Yes" to God. It was a great leap of faith, but when I said "Yes" it was like God poured His graces upon me and a spring of water sprang up under my feet as I landed in the water.

Now, bringing you back to when I lived at the DH I had received a lot of red roses from the guys I dated. After my prayer time when I had chosen that I was going to give my life to God in jumping off the diving board, my roommate came home and handed me a bouquet of spring flowers for no particular reason. The fact that they were spring flowers rather than roses symbolised to me that God will love me as my boyfriends had, but the love will be different. In my heart, I knew from this point on I belonged to God and I was determined that nothing was going to stop me from entering religious life.

From that point on, I never turned back. I chose these sisters because they were the ones who reached me, believed in me and helped me to grow in my relationship with God. The community that I experienced had a deep prayer and vibrant community life. It's an international community so I feel one day I will use my background in agriculture to do some missionary work. Also, a big drawing factor is that there are other young sisters.

It is still a huge sacrifice for me not to have my own children to love. However, God has given me many spiritual children and fulfills this maternal need in incredible, unexpected ways. It brings me great joy to love those who are motherless. I will share with you a story as an example. I was at a park with my family for a picnic and I was playing soccer with my nieces and nephews suddenly this other little boy about two years old joins us. He stayed around us all through supper and I noticed there was nobody looking after him. So, I began to watch that he did not run out onto the road; and I saw that he wanted to go down the slide, so I took him down the slide. Finally, I found his step-grandmother. It struck me how not having my own children that made me available to care for him throughout the evening while my sisters were busy with their own kids.

My life with God since has not been without difficulties, but I have no regrets in surrendering and dedicating my life to God. November 21st, 2009 I pronounced my final vows and I love my vocation more than ever. This commitment to God and my sisters has brought a freedom, joy and peace to my life. My focus has changed since high school and University from sports to faith, but I will still take any of you on in a game of 1 on 1.

Jesus said, "Amen I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the gospel who will not receive a hundred times more now in the present age:.... and eternal life in the age to come." Mark 10: 29-31